Hels: Who the fuck ate the last piece of chocolate cake in the fridge?!
Wels: Language!
Hels: Sorry. Whomst the fuck ate the last piece of chocolate cake in the fridge?!
Ex: I'm fine.
Xisuma: No you're not. You have three stab wounds and if I you don't let me treat them you may very possibly die.
Impulse: What do you feel about kids?
Iskall: I mean, they're ok? If I see one, I wouldn't throw a rock at it.
Impulse: Why would you throw a rock at a child!?
Iskall: I just said I wouldn't.
Scar: I suppose you think Spike from My Little Pony is more mature than I am.
Grian: Scar, there are prison cells that are more mature than you are.
Ex takes one of Hels' French fries...
Hels: Not cool! You didn't order any!
Ex: I'll pay you back. One fry for one-
Ex kisses Hels on the lips.
Ex: Square deal?
Hels: Take as many as you want
Mumbo: This is a mistake
Grian, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!
Mumbo: But not today
Grian, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess
Hels: Bitches be like "I'm baby" but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do you know about being baby You were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I'm bitches
BadTimes: Scar's cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that's both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.
Hels: Fuck being nonchalant I love being a chalant bitch. I have never been chill not once in my life, even when I'm asleep I am burning a house down
Xisuma, with the Helsmits: Points to BadTimes
Xisuma: This is my favourite Helsmit. I waited forever to have him here. Isn't he precious?
Xisuma: Points to Ex and Hels
Xisuma: These are Dumbass and Feind. I found them in alley behind a dumpster. They try to murder each other sometimes.
Bdubs: They made Scar cry!
Grian: Scar always cries
Scar, crying: THAT'S NOT TRUE!
39 missed calls and 166 unopened messages from My Beautiful Dumbass <3
Ex: Hels, what the fuck is going on-
Hels: I found a video of this small angry crab that reminds me of you!
YOU ARE READING
Hermitcraft Oneshots!
FanfictionHello, it is me, Ren, or Aether! This is my oneshots book and any suggestions (even of ships not listed) are welcome! This is my little comfort book where any ideas come to life. Enjoy (also look at me go I made my own cover)
