CHAPTER NINETEEN
A coward.
That’s what I was last night. It was my perfect chance to expose Sharmaine for the fraud that she is, but what did I do? I chickened out. I’m pathetic.
It took me a long time—a few hours, maybe—before I finally lost consciousness. But even in sleep, I couldn’t escape the guilt. I didn’t have any dreams—at least, I didn’t recall any. The only thing I remembered was feeling that gnawing stab of guilt snake through my bloodstream. It was the first thing I felt when I woke up, too. And it was a heck of an awful way to start the day.
Even though I was fully conscious, I didn’t get up from bed. I just lay there, a pathetic heap curled up into a miserable ball. Last night’s events replayed over and over again in my mind, like a corrupted video file. I had my chance, and I blew it. Now all I could do was play that bitter game of if only…
I don’t know how long I had been lying there when I heard a knock on my door. When I didn’t answer, the knock came again.
“Natalie?” It was Caleb. Of course it was him. “Natalie, are you awake?” I heard him sigh, then heard the knob twist and the door swing open. I forgot to lock the door last night.
Since my back was against him, I couldn’t see him. But I heard his footsteps grow louder as he made his way towards me. Then I felt the other side of the bed sink under his weight.
“Natalie.” His voice was quiet. He was staring at my face, but I kept my eyes locked on the window. “Did you have a fight with Tyler?”
I shook my head a bit. “No.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
I couldn’t tell him the truth. I couldn’t tell Caleb how I failed miserably.
“I’m on my period.” I lied.
“Oh. Um,” he fumbled for a second, buying right into my lie. “Um, okay.” I heard him let out a breath. “Alright then. Um, does it hurt or something? Zerrah usually has it bad…puts her in a lot of pain and stuff.” He cleared his throat. “Do you want anything? Painkillers?” His voice lowered to an embarrassed murmur. “Tampons?”
Despite the numbness, the embarrassment washed over me like a tidal wave. My cheeks flamed.
“I-I’m fine.” I stammered.
He sighed in what I can only label as relief. “Okay, good. Listen, I’m going off to Dr. Goldstein’s clinic now. I’ll drop by Cooper’s to let them know. Nana’s at a prayer meeting, by the way, so you’ll be alone in the house. Is that okay with you? Or do you want me to stay?”
I shook my head and willed myself to face him and give him a reassuring smile. “No. You go ahead. I’ll be fine here.”
“Are you sure?”
“Definitely.”
“Alright, then.” He stood up. “See you later for band practice, then.” He paused. “Um, that is, if you’re feeling up to it by then. But you could skip out for today, if you want.”
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Beautiful Disaster (Ongoing & on Hiatus)
RomanceEver since her mother died, Natalie has been the glue that desperately tries to keep the remains of her broken family intact. And when Caleb, her older melancholic brother, runs away from home, she comes to a moot point in her life---go after him...
