Egyptian Vanity

Stagnating

"Ella! If you don't hurry up we're going to be late!" Farah shouted while banging on the bathroom door. I rolled my eyes and checked the time on my phone. 

"We still have an hour and a half before we have to be at the ceremony so calm down." I continued to straighten my hair, cautious not to burn myself like last time. I'm still baring the consequences of it on my neck. "You know you can come in and do your hair with me." I offered to which Farah groaned. 

"You know I can't do my hair with someone else hogging up the mirror. I need to be able to see myself fully." 

"Okay drama queen," I mumbled under my breath and tried to do my hair as fast as I could without burning myself. I gave myself a once over in the mirror and smiled. 

Today was the day I was graduating from college and a lot of things had changed since I got here. For one, my hair was cropped shorter and I had put on a little weight. I tried not to be self conscious about it but it was hard not to be. People told me it was just healthy weight, that I looked better and maybe I did. Along with the physical changes, I went through mental changes. I had forced myself to come out of my shell a little bit and perhaps my new medication helped with that but I digress. 

Things seemed to be going a lot better than I had anticipated before moving here but I still had this nagging feeling that I wasn't going anywhere, that I was just standing still in my own little comfortable bubble. I knew that I was progressing but again, it wasn't in the ways that I wanted. The incessant pounding on the bathroom door started again as did the raging headache that only Farah seemed to cause. 

I pulled the door open and ducked, missing Farah's fist by an inch. I maneuvered around her and let her insults bounce right off my back. Farah and I had a pretty rocky relationship. When you get right down to it, she and I were very different people. Where I try to be mellow and easy going, she is determined to make everyone feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel as if it's on purpose. 

With the slam of a door and the click of a lock, I was left alone in our tiny living room. My phone lit up from our coffee table and I reached over to check the message.

Mom 

'Congrats, honey. Finally a college graduate, your father and I couldn't be more proud. Unfortunately, business popped up out of no where so we won't be attending the ceremony. We're still on for dinner tonight. I hope you can forgive us.' 

Was I surprised? Absolutely not. Was I disappointed? Obviously. Since they shipped me out the Staten Island, I haven't heard much from them but if I'm being honest, they didn't hear much from me either. It was kind of 'out of sight, out of mind'. We texted each other for the holidays and any kind of big news but just to call and have a conversation never happened. Can't say that part disappointed me much. They had continued to pay for my apartment and my tuition so for that, I can't complain much. 

Me

'No worries.'

I hit send without another thought and placed my phone back on the coffee table. I couldn't be too upset. I had sent out invitations to everyone I could think of. I knew for a fact that Gabby and Donnie were coming. 

I even sent one to him. 

I knew the chances of him actually showing up were slim but I sent one anyway. 

Since moving back I tried to completely shut off my feelings for him but they've been mixed ever since I left. I was angry, I was sad, I was lonely. Gabby and I facetimed every other day and Donnie was never afraid to call when he needed to rant but still, I was just stuck here. Of course, I had Farah but she doesn't exactly have a warm, welcoming feeling to her.