Egyptian Vanity

Lethologica

His words stung but that was to be expected. As much as I wanted to live in this little fantasy with him, I knew it wasn't realistic. And with the words he just uttered, I just had the hardest reality check of my life but I didn't understand.

Was everything not fixed now? Wasn't this the part when we were supposed to come together again and live our lives with one another? After the heartache I've had to feel, isn't it my turn to feel that happiness again?

"Why not?" I asked, stepping out of the bathtub. I reached for the towel and wrapped it around myself. "I thought you said you missed me."

"Ella-," He said, discouraged.

"That's what you said." My voice cracked and the tears welled up in my eyes. "You said you reached out because you missed me."

When he didn't answer, I continued.

"I did what you wanted and you're still leaving me again?"

"It's not like I want to." Logan stood up from the tub and wrapped a towel around his waist. "If I could bring you back home with me, I would, Ella. Believe me."

"Why can't you?" I asked as he walked past me towards the door. "And don't tell me it's because you have my best interest at heart."
I followed him out of the bathroom. He walked over to his closet and pulled out a shirt and two pairs of sweatpants. Logan dropped his towel and slipped into one of the sweatpants, tossing the other set to me.

"Well?" I prompted again.

"I want you to come home with me," He started, taking a seat on the bed.

"But...?"

"But things are different now." He gestured towards my clothes. "Get dressed."

My heart sank.

Things were different now?

"Different how?"

Once again, he went silent, completely evading the question. I scoffed and quickly dressed myself in his clothes. I then took my seat next to him.

"Logan, if there is someone else at home, I think I deserve to know." I took in a deep breath and suppressed my emotions. "You don't have to lie to me."

"It's not what you think." He mumbled and then ran his hand down his face, clearly frustrated. "I really didn't anticipate having this conversation with you right now but you're right, you deserve to know."

My heart pounded in my chest so fast and loud I was afraid he'd take notice. But he didn't. Maybe his heart was beating just as fast and loud.

"Ella, when you left, understand that I had every intention of keeping in touch with you. I honestly just wanted what was best for you but I wanted to be there for your big milestones but...things happened and keeping in contact just wasn't a morally viable option."

He reached over and grabbed my hand.

"The day after you left I got a call from the hospital and then everything just got so crazy and-," He trailed off, trying to find the words to say. "It wouldn't have been fair to you-," He cut himself off again.

"Just say it, Logan."

He took in a puff of air before speaking again.

"I have a child."

I frowned, not sure I heard him correctly.

"What?"

A small smile crept onto his mouth before he reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his phone. He put in his password and then scrolled for a second before turning the phone around to face me. A little girl with long dark brown hair and light blue eyes stared back at the camera, smiling brightly.