𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐋 𝐈 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐑

XXIII. When I'm With You

  Chapter 23,
    When I'm With You
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  " You're really starting to piss me off Thames, this is serious, I mean I'm being serious. "

~ Y/n's POV ~

  Although I knew he was in his trailer, for some reason I just wanted to do a quick check around the set just so that I didn't have to see him, I was excited at first but the nerves took over and I believed that he wasn't going to like what I was going to say.
   I finally circled back to his trailer and took a deep breath, I knew that this was the moment of truth and if I were going to make a move on him then now would be the time, I felt like I was going to vomit but I just have to pretend that this was like a scene in the movie.

   After believing in myself and calming down, I knocked on the door and looked down at my feet to rehearse everything that I wanted to tell him, I wanted him to feel like I was pouring out my heart and soul to him, which I was but he needed to feel it.
   When the door opened, I smiled as Mason looked like he had just woken up from a nap was still a little groggy from it, I mean I couldn't blame him as naps make you feel more tired when you wake up.

     "What's up Y/n/n?"

  Mason asked as he moved over so I could walk into his trailer, I walked inside and took a deep breath, just reminding myself that there was absolutely nothing for me to be afraid whatsoever.
   He's just a boy and I shouldn't be worried about my feelings getting hurt if he were to reject me, there's always going to be other guys that will love me the way that I wanted and deserved to be loved, so getting rejected shouldn't hurt very much.

   I've been living by the rule that I would choose rejection over regret, although there are times where I don't want to say something and end up regretting it completely, I only want to take the risk if I know the person well enough and am ready to take the chance.
   Then there's other times where I'm ready to take a moment and just leap without even looking, because as long as I have something to break my fall, what doesn't kill me can leave me all bruised up and scarred, but it'll make me stronger than before.

  "I have a lot of things to tell you and I'm just trying to find the correct words to say it without sounding stupid or a complete train wreck."

  I told the boy who was now sitting on a couch, looking at me as I struggled to find the words that I wanted to tell him, I mean they were just pouring out in my mind earlier but now they have gone empty and I can't seem to find a single thing to say to him.
   If I wing it now, I have to make sure that what I say doesn't come out in a wrong way and that it gets my point and message across to the person that I want, so if I wing it then I'm sure that it'll go smoothly.

    "Mason, I have found these feelings that are different from what I have experienced before, I had convinced myself that I hated you since day one over something stupid and now that we've spoken, I have realized that I was being childish and immature."

  I began by admitting that I was wrong in the first place, I knew that he didn't deserve my hatred which meant that I needed to apologize and let him know that I am completely aware that I am in the wrong, and I'm not afraid to admit it when it comes to him.
   Except, I wouldn't tell him that, I was not about to tell him that he's the only person that I would admit that I'm wrong, he doesn't get to have the knowledge in his mind for the rest of forever.

    "Go on.."

  Mason spoke out as he watched me pause, I knew he needed to hear me out and listen to the words that were about to come out of my mouth.

    "I realized that the hatred has began to turn into liking, but not in the liking that you're probably think about at this moment."

    I breathed out, Mason looked at me as he furrowed his eyebrows before realizing what I had meant, his lips began to curl up into a smile and he got up from the couch, I didn't want him to start bragging about this but it was too late to get him to stop.

    "You like me! You actually really like me!"

  Mason shouted, I covered his mouth quickly not wanting anyone else to hear his stupidity, of course I like him but that doesn't mean I'm ready for other people to know how I feel about him.

   " You're really starting to piss me off Thames, this is serious, I mean I'm being serious. "

   I stated with a serious tone, he only brushed it off and began to smile and giggle like a five year old who had just discovered their parents secret stash of candy from Halloween, like honestly couldn't he have been more childish?
   But I understood it, he was happy that I no longer hated him but now was the moment that I needed to know if he hates me or thinks of me as only a friend.

    The suspense was killing me...