TOP GUN: BACK TO MY ROOTS

TEARS

after talking with bradley for about two hours i told him that i had been with jake,
"did you sleep with him?" he asked he averting me gaze by looking at the tv
i shook my head "no"
he looked at me, and then down at my shirt
"good, i like you better in my clothes anyways"
i smiled at him and he smiled back
i got a text on my phone

dad: hey kiddo gonna stay at the hangar over night
i texted him back
me: hey dad, sounds good, and btw you don't need to keep lying about penny, i know;)
dad: we'll i guess the gig is up, thanks for being understanding, love you
me: love you too dad

i looked back up at bradley, i wondered if he knew about ice
"you know about the funeral tommorow?"
i said bluntly
"yeah, beau told us before we all left this afternoon, i have to wear my fancy uniform"
i smiled at the the light of him in his all white uniform
"you wanna stay the night?"
"you know the answer is always yes"

we walked upstairs to my room
after taking a shower i pulled a black dress out of my closet for tomorrow
i looked at myself in the mirror, everything was changing, ice was gone, dad was dating again, bradley was back,
two weeks time i could loose either him or jake or even dad,
i started to cry at the thought of kissing any of them, i just got bradley back, i couldn't loose him again, i wiped the tears from my cheeks and walked out to my room
brad took one look at me and knew i had been crying.
"baby what's wrong" he asked me standing up and walking towards me
i started crying again
"i don't want you to go" i threw my hands around his neck and held onto him tightly
"i know honey" he buried his face in my neck as i started to sob
"don't go, please don't go" i repeated my words at least twice around before bradley pulled away
culling my face in his hands
"hey, it's gonna be okay, we don't even know if i'm going yet"
it's true, dad was to pick the day of, but i had seen bradley fly
he was our best option, it was either him or jake
and knowing dad i had a good feeling of who he would pick
i continued to cry with my forehead pressed against his
he shushed quietly and sweetly in an attempt to console me
as i calmed myself down he spoke again
"baby you have don't more than enough crying for today, let's get you to bed"
i looked over at the clock, through blurred vision i had been  able to read the time 1:00 AM
god was i glad tomorrow was a free day

i woke up the next morning, not that i slept much the last night given the amount of sleep i got yesterday
i sighed as i picked up my phone, 7:00 AM, i finally decided to go through my texts from yesterday

jake: hey let me know if you need anything
jake: how are you feeling?
jake: hey we missed you today, your dad said you were sick

bradley: 3 missed calls
bradley: Y/N i'm sorry please call me
bradley: Y/N where are you, i stopped by your house no one is home
bradley: jake says you are safe, please text me if sorry
bradley: Y/N it's been two hours, i promise myself i would t loose you again, i don't want to be without you anymore

pheonix: hey, i hope you are doing okay, i just wanted to apologize for what you overheard at the hard deck, i didn't know you and rooster were that serious and i really didn't mean any ill will towards you, i seriously look up to you and hope we cans still be friends

i texted back pheonix first

me: hey pheonix, im doing better thanks, i talked it all out with rooster and and hangman, no bad blood between us, you can definitely count on me as one of your friends, is girls gotta stick together :)

i put my phone down
and looked back to bradley who was now awake
i jumped realizing he was staring at me
"Jesus christ rooster"
he laughed "sorry didn't mean to scare you" i sighed
"i swear to god one of you boys are going to give me a heart attack"
"did you call me rooster?" he wrapped an arm around my waist
"yeah, i was just texting and had to use your callsign" i thought for a moment
"so you and pheonix huh?"
he sighed
"yeah, it was a spur of the moment decision really"
"you dated for two years?"
"technically we were only official for one and engaged for six months"
"mhm" i cocked an eyebrow at him
"i'm sorry, i shouldn't told you"
"hey, your personal life of personal for a reason, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to"i said playing with his hair
"i know, but with you i feel like i do want to tell you everything" he said as he flattened himself out on the bed
"well, then tell me what's on your mind right now, go"
"i wanna be official" he blurted out, his eyes went wide realizing what he had said and i had just about the same reaction, although i had i smile on my face
"really?"
"is that bad"
"i don't think so"
he say up a and looked at me
"well then, Y/N, you wanna date, like, actually"
i laughed at his choice of words
"yea bradley i'll be your girlfriend"
he let out a breath "oh thank god"
"pfft as of i would have said no"
he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him, "yay"
i laughed at his childish side
"what do you wanna do today babe? we have some time before the funeral" i asked him, he still hadn't pulled away from me
"this"
"and after this?"
"no, just this"
i rolled my eyes
"okay, you get one hour of this" i said as i laid myself back down cuddling into him

as i got ready for the funeral i decided to leave my hair straight, making it a half up half down
i had paired my golden plane necklace that i always wore with some golden earrings i've had gotten me for my 18th birthday

bradley had left about 20 minuets ago, all pilots had to meet together at the base before the funeral
meaning i was alone, i was alone to get ready, alone for the drive there, alone walking through the empty building towards the back
as i arrived i stood on the third floor, needing to take the stairs down to the garden, i looked down at the line of white where the pilots stood
"Y/N" i turned around to be met with aunt sara
"hi" i gave her a hug
"uhm, if you wouldn't mind, i would like you to be with us in the family section, your family too"
a tear fell from my cheek
"of course" i said trying not to cry more
"oh don't cry now, you look so pretty"
we both laughed as she wiped a tear from my face
she took my hand and leads me down to the bottom floor,
i stood with her as they handed her the flag,
we stood right next to the line of white pilots, bradley was at the very end, i moved to be standing next to him, i couldn't hug him, no matter how much as i needed it right now
as dad walked over to punch ice's wings i to the wood
i could feel a someone take my hand, i breathed out, making the decision to not look at him in perder to not draw any attention to us, no one had noticed and i didn't need him in any sort of trouble, even though it was only for a second it was exactly what i needed, it gave me a sense of comfort and peace knowing bradley was here with me, they way he was dressed, the way they made them stand, stone faced, almost dehumanized him, he let go of my hand as dad turned back around.
several jets flew across the sky i closed my eyes, counting, calming myself down.

after the service i was talking with aunt sarah,
"so how come you didn't bring a date?" my eyes widened
"to uncle ices funeral?" i said a little shocked
"oh come on he would've wanted you to get some game"
"well, for your information i didn't come alone, my boyfriend is here, unfortinay he was in u inform today"
"what? who!?"
she said as she turned towards the small sea of white
i pulled her back towards me
"okay you can't tell my dad" i said laughing
she put her hand over her mouth a shook her head
"not a word, i promise"
i took a deep breath
"it's lieutenant bradahaw"
"i knew it! haha"
"what?"
"oh please, i always knew you two would get together once i heard he was back in fighter town"
i laughed as we were approached by my father
"good evening ladies"
i rolled my eyes at him
"hello dad"
"dad? that's pretty forward, i thought you did t want people knowing" he said as he smiled at me
"well maybe i'm a little more lenient on who i'm okay with knowing" i said
"well you are a mitchel" aunt sara said
"what's that supposed to mean" dad asked as he acted fake offended
"your hard headed and stubborn, now if you'd excuse me, more people want to see me about my dead husband" she turned and walked off
"two weeks" i said
"uhm yeah about that" dad said as he placed a hand on the back of his neck
"the date of execution has been pushed up"
"what? how soon, why didn't i know about this?"
"oh about a week, the reason you didn't know is because, well, i've been taken off of the job, cyclone and beau will be takin over the mission now, they've changed the time to three minuets"
my eyes began to feel heavy, i didn't know if i wanted to cry, or if i didn't even care anymore
"i'm sorry kiddo"
"no, no it's okay, i think i might head out"
i wanted to go home i was so physically and mentally exhausted
"alright kiddo i'll see you at home" he patted my back and i have him a weak smile
i started making my way out of the room and into the quiet hall when i heard my name 
i turned to see bradley, i wrapped my arms around him and he did the same
"you okay?" he asks me not moving
"yeah, yeah i'm okay. i just want to go home" i said
"you want me to come with you"
i felt selfish asking him to come with me, he had done so much for me, but i really didn't want to be alone right now,
"yea please"
as he pulled away from he gave me a kiss
and damn did i need it, i melted into his lips like i was butter, i had been needing some type of physical touch from him since the moment he left my place this morning,
"you ready to go now?"
"yes"
he took my hand and walked with me out to the parking lot, And to my car
"you want me to drive baby?"
i looked over at him and handed him the keys not even saying a word he gave me a smile
"okay"
he held onto my hand as he drove us home, humming along to the country song that was playing on the radio
as i looked at him i saw my future, i saw everything i wanted