All too well

Prologue

I remember praying to God asking him to give me someone to love as much as I love him. I waited patiently, until one day I found him again in a wrong place and in a wrong time.

I remember begging to someone to hear me out five years ago but the only thing he did was to feel disgusted.

Maybe I am too controlling spoiled brat bitch way back then but now when I realized that you don't have to beg to be loved and to have an attention.

They said, to fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness. And now, going back home. I am ready to face my fears.

"Nat's ang mga gamit mo okay na ba?" tanong ni Freya sa akin.

"Frey, I don't have a lot of things and besides saglit lang ako doon. I just want to see you safe and sound sa bayan natin." Sagot ko sa kanya. Compare sa akin na isang rebelde sa pamilya siya ay binubugaw lamang ng kanyang pamilya sa isang matandang lalaki.

I forced them to go home too, my Mommy called me and she said my Lolo wants me to go home. It's been freaking five years na hindi ako umuuwi ng Cebu. They want me to stay here for a year pero hindi nila inaasahan na magtatagal ako dito at magseseryoso.

I studied Business Beauty dito sa isang tanyag na Academy and later on nagkaroon ako ng isang perfume brands dahil nakameet ng isang malaking manufacturer and Jonathan, Freya and Gavin help me to boom the business.

"Anyways, you really need to come in Manila after a month. We need to do the shoots of my new products. Have you talked to our lawyer regarding the other brands that you've model years ago?" I asked Freya again. Medyo kinakabahan ako dito sa kaibigan kong to baka hindi na bumalik sa Paris at manirahan nalang sa Manila.

"Aren't you going to change, Natalia? Jonathan and Victor are waiting for us na." Wika ni Freya sa akin. Nakabihis na rin to ako nalang ata hindi.

"Opo, Mam." Sagot ko sa kanya sabay tumalikod at humalakhak. She is older than me tapos na siya ng College ako ay nasa second year palang studying Political Science as per my Lolo's request but didn't finish because of my scandal.

My phone vibrated nang nag-aayos na ako ng aking kinulot at mahabang buhok. Mommy is video calling me.

"Yes, mommy?"

"Are you going out?" balik na tanong sa akin ni Mommy. I noticed mommy's hair it is short pixie cut. May nangyari na naman ba? Nag-away na naman ba sila ni Daddy? Napabuntong hininga nalang ako because even if I ask her, she will never tell me the truth.

She is so selfless.

"Yeah, Mom just a night out with Freya before going home." Maikling sagot ko.

"Anak, bukas na ng umaga ang flight niyo. Baka malasing ka."puna ni Mama. Nagpowder lang ako ng konti at hinayaan ang feckless ko sa mukha at naglagay ng pulang lipstick na bago kong product.

"No worries, mommy. We'll just have a dinner and drink little. Makakauwi ako ng Cebu." Sagot ko sa kanya at pili na ngumiti.

"Sige Anak, mag-iingat kayo. Your Lolo is waiting at hindi matigil sa pagtatanong sa akin kung nasaan ka na." Mommy said. Malungkot akong ngumiti noon gustong-gusto nila akong itaboy sa malayo dahil sa mga kahihiyan ngayon naman ay gustong-gusto nila akong umuwi.

"Bye Mommy. See you." Bago tinapos ang usapan namin.

We are all here in Niki Club celebrating the despedida for all of us.

"You really need to behave, Natalia. Kung hindi another scandal na naman ang mangyayari." Freya said. I am just drinking the champagne that Jonathan ordered. Hindi masyadong nag iinom si Freya dahil siya ang nakatoka na gigising sa aming apat.

Inakbayan ko si Freya at hinalikan sa ulo. Freya doen't really know behind that scandal ang tanging alam niya ay halikang ganap at pag gamit ng illegal na gamot.

She is older than me pero ako ang mas nag-aalaga sa kanya. She is so fragile habang ako ay tigre naman sa tapang. "I really love you girl, ikaw lang ang tumanggap sa akin nung nag ka scandal ako at ikaw lang din ang tumulong sa akin para bumangon." Sabi ko sa kanya na medyo naiiyak na dahil after this despedida kailangan ko nang harapin ang nakaraan.

I am also chasing the yesterday as i want to clean myself.

"Well, what about me? Look at me, nakayanan ko kahit ang pamilya ko ay bugaw na bugaw na sa akin para lang Umahon kami sa hirap." Sigaw ni Freya.

"Fuck, your family!" Sigaw ko and Fuck my family too! I said on my mind. They didn't know the realy story of my rebellious act. They just know that I'm a spoiled brat.

Gavin hugged me. "I knew you are still not ready. All of us but we need to face them to move on with our lives. être fort, mon ami" (Be strong, my friend) he whispered in my ear.

Everyone has a story to tell and a secret to keep. They may be my real true friend, but I am still traumatized dahil sa mga dati kong kaibigan. Nahihirapan pa rin akong magtiwala sa ibang tao.

After our drama, we hugged, we kissed, we party and we laughed.