book of f-ckery

deez

for anyone who wanted an actual life update,

my name is now nathaniel vincent. i'm 19 and work at a children's casino.

i've been in a relationship since 2020. he's weird. silly little guy. i'm gonna put him in a blender and turn him into a smoothie.

sydney died. we have addi now. she's weird too.

i listen to more metal now. i have six tattoos. i have 8 piercings. my ears are stretched like i always wanted them to be. i dye my hair now.

i like jojo's bizarre adventure a lot. sbr supremacy 🫡

i have more trans friends. i'm more openly myself. i'm out at work, i'm attempting to socially transition despite the very unfortunate and obvious facts of 1.) i do not pass as male at All and 2.) i still live with my grandparents. shit sucks but fuck it we ball 🧎

i'm tired a lot. my paranoia has gotten worse. my back hurts more than it used to. i tried icyhot for the first time and almost cried because i wasn't hurting for the first time in years.

i don't play instruments anymore. the guitars in my room have sat and gathered dust for so long. i want to pick them up again, but i work 40 hour weeks. i want to pick them up again, but i lost all of my motivation years ago.

i don't read the way i used to, not even on my phone. i buy comics and books and am gifted manga but rarely do i ever open them. rarely do i look inside.

i like the magnus archives. i like to talk about it.

i was a heavy chainsmoker for a while. i haven't smoked a cigarette recently. i do smoke a decent amount of weed, though. it lessens pain, physical and otherwise.

my car was rear ended and totaled. i'm okay (aside from hitting my head against the steering wheel). i'm getting a new car.

i like beetlejuice. i like it a lot.

i collect mugs. weird mugs. cups, too. i like them. they're silly.

i'm not on medication anymore. haven't been for a few years. i don't know if it would fix anything.

i'm tired.

but i'll be fine.

anyway yee fuckin haw idk how to transition out of this

deez nuts