you can skip this chapter its literally just me hating myself

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why am i into so much fucked up shit

like no joke ten seconds ago i was thinking of how i could get away with smoking

ive never smoked but after seeing it everywhere and growing up around it i really wanna try it

on top of that, i was told hickeys can cause blood clots? not sure if thats true but if it is im still willing to risk it to get at least one somewhere on my vessel

just to try it

ive never done drugs, but if i had the privacy id probably smoke weed

just to try it

theres so much shit i wanna do just to see what its like and i just

i cant talk about it with people

because when i do someone gets mad

its overwhelming

i hate it

i just

i wish i didnt want to do these things

–lukaas

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