The Final Goodbye

Chapter 11

Weeks and months passed. Still no one would offer me a job that wasn't near me. This was beginning to look real strange; like someone didn't want me to get a job. I just am running out of money and I have 100€ left in my name, that won't even pay the rent this month, so I have been giving myself great thought, it's been time to sell a few things. Even if I do I can't afford the rent still, not for my whole life.

It's time to do the right thing and put up sales. "Alright let's do this. This will last you a while."

After about two hours I had most of Sherlocks things on this website to sell, I only had one last item. So I typed out:

Cherry Oak Violin for sale. Used violin, great quality. Need to get rid of, just name your price.

Just need to hit send, then it will soon be gone. Everyone would want this violin, just everyone. Who couldn't turn this beauty down. They would make more memories for it. Just have to hit the button to post it; yet why is this so hard to do? It's the feeling of regret and sorrow. Yet if I don't do this, it will be a reminder of the past.

After what seemed hours, but actually just minutes, I pushed the button. Now the violin was for sale. Hopefully this would be enough to pay my rent this month. All of this needs to go, all of it. I can't afford anything right now.

Looking on the internet for another job, with now little options in London, I was looking for them out of the city. Manchester, Liverpool, and Cheshire. Maybe whatever the people in London can't see in me; then maybe those doctors will find.

Days past and I sold some of Sherlocks things. I had almost enough for rent. Yet I was running low on food, I need food to live. I had gotten about five letters from all of them saying that I didn't qualify. Maybe this was Mycrofts doings. I need to find him, he probably has some spy camera's in the flat.

"Come on Mycroft, I know you are doing this. Come out, be a man. Why are you doing this? Is it because you want me to stay, is it because you believe Sherlock is still alive. He's dead Mycroft, he's gone and he's not coming back. He's dead Mycroft, he's dead." I finally broke and started to cry. "Please stop, I'm broke. I have nothing, no money to keep me living in this place, or enough to get myself food."

I worked my self up to where I flipped the kitchen table. I wipe my tears and fall to the floor, I can't keep living like this. I need someone to talk to, before I finally lose it.

As soon as the table hit the ground Mrs. Hudson comes running up the stairs. "My goodness dear, what is going on up here."

I look at her, her heartfelt look made me start crying. I don't want people to see me like this. "I can't get a job, anywhere. I am poor and I can't sell anything else. I barely have enough money for next months rent. Yet I need food to live. I am struggling." I start hyperventilating and crying harder.

She slips to the floor beside me and puts her arm around my shoulder. She rubs my back, "It's going to be okay. It's fine if you can't pay it the whole way. I'll just pay a little extra."

"No, I need to be able to pay it. Otherwise I don't feel like I belong here. Like I'm just living off the edge." I wipe my tears, it was hard not to cry in front of her. "I just want to feel like I can live on my own without Sherlock."

She moves her hand from my back onto her lap. "Is this what it's about? Sherlock is gone and you can't make it on your own? Why can't you live with your sister?"

"Are you kidding, sure let me live with my emotionally unstable sister. Who, may I remind you is very loud when she drinks. I can't stand being around her, not after her girlfriend left her."