I woke up this Sunday, and grief hit fresh. This was also because the news of Bose's death struck on a Sunday.
For those who know Bose and my relation with her, you'll wonder why after almost a decade, I still think of her to such a degree.
Tending to grief is not a time-bound affair. As far as memories remain, there's no guarantee that the pain wouldn't crop up again. It might not hit as hard as the first, but then there are scars that'll always be reminders of the loss. Sometimes, it bites hard and you get shattered to smithereens, all over again.
You see, sometimes, strolling through life's road, there's this one sharp pebble, most times so small to notice, that pricks you. It makes you take a pause because it hit the scar area, and probably tears it open again.
At this point, I tell myself, "Feel it bro. Feel the waves as they hit you. Genuinely feel all the vibes that come at you. Be as true to your self as you can be. Don't be whatever anyone calls it, 'Strong' or 'Weak'. Just Be."
And today, "Just Be" for me means reliving sweet memories, reading an unedited piece about grief (tons of it were burnt and deleted, I recently had this one scripted. The edited version lays cold in my yet unpublished memoir), laying in bed and deeply feeling my emotions, and yes, poring over the write-ups of y'all great folks I've met in this space.
I'll probably just drop the piece here too. It's unedited and some months old, so ... 🌚🥴🌚
Today, all I have are the sweet memories we created together. I lay me down and smile broadly. Grief does hit differently, yeah?
💝💚💝
