Dreams, they say, are meant for those who sleep. But in this lane, my dreams keep me awake.
I've showered for the night. It's been over an hour, but I still have my towel around my waist. As the warm water hit my scalp, ideas hit my head. Ideas that keep the tiredness at bay. The body's weak, but the spirit keeps it pumped. Adrenaline rush. The mind suddenly sparking flames. Firing bursts of neurons.
My pen's been dancing on papers. Drafting plans. Plotting moves. Listing connections. Making budgets on imaginary funds. It's funny but my dreams have made me mad. Lolz... My account currently read N1030.85 but my mind, damn...
Dreams keep me awake, and away from dreams. They consume me. At this point, it's safe to say I don't own my dreams. They own me. They're bigger than me. They come from a Source beyond my existence. They'll far outlive my existence.
I call myself crazy because I can't even afford to completely feed myself right now. A roll of sausage for the whole day. Few sticks of biscuits on other days, washed down, or more appropriately, drowned with cups and cups of water. Some days, I ride the waves on an empty stomach. Dreams keep me alive.
I'm reminded right now. Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from God's mouth. It's safe to say I hear the voice of God, for it's the only explanation for why I keep keeping on. It's the only explanation for the drive. The push. The zest. Life.
I need to be awake to hit the road by 5 am tomorrow. I use "tomorrow" because it's 23:59 right now. So I might have to put this frenzy......
I'll leave this unedited. Straight as it is. So I dozed off as I went to finish some uncompleted tasks and I'm up again and it's 1:27am, and I'm frigging tired. Mentally fagged out right now. So I'll just update this, and take a break.
Today we live. One day at a time. For life. For dreams.
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DISCLAIMER: This is my experience, and I'll reiterate that my experiences are not ULTIMATES. They are MY truths. They may not necessarily be yours. In fact, they don't have to be yours.
I still share them however, just in case they have a slim chance of becoming companions in whatever point you are right now in your journey, or perhaps something to laugh over, having passed this milestone once upon a time, or to prepare you to strengthen your girdle if this road is one you might have to take, or just so you have an insight into another's journey.
This was written some time in September. You see, I'm a journalist, in the strictest sense of one who keeps a journal. I kinda have a journal for almost all of my paths. Engagements, endeavours, encounters and all.
I once destroyed a large portion of it during a period of intense mental distress. Though it gave me a sort of closure to some deep issues I was thought-binging on, on some days, I miss those diaries because I love evaluating my growth and seeing how far I've come.
So why bringing this on here? You see, every man's got his path. I love the theories of the logotherapist, Viktor Frankl. He proposed theories centering around "The Will to Meaning," always quoting Nietzsche:
"He who has a 'why' to live for can bear almost any 'how.'"
I wanted to bring out highlights to the extract of the journal I shared, but I'll leave you to make of it what your heart interpretes to you.
And if you do find a voice from the little piece shared, know that it's your Inner Voice whispering to you that which you've perceived. Pay attention to it, for it knows your path best, and when it whispers, it does so as your best Companion and most trust-worthy Guide.
Much love from Dr. Fluid
💚💚💚
