Royal Ever After

chapter nineteen

 I don't understand. I don't know what she means. I've disappointed her more times than the rest of my family combined, so what's changed? Nothing. Nothing about me has changed. I'm the same, old me I always was. On a scale from one to ten, this would be a solid twelve in terms of randomness. She never compliments me. She never says the things normal mothers are supposed to say when they love their child. Heck, I don't even think she loves me. And even if she somehow does, she certainly doesn't show it.

I'm about to shut off my phone and mentally mark this off as a fluke when the typing bubbles emerge back up. The twenty seconds it takes for my mother to type are the longest twenty seconds of my life. Anticipation is practically jumping out of my belly, waiting for a possible explanation for this bizarre behavior. I saw the news. Good job. I'm happy for you and Brynleigh. Truly. I'm glad things are looking up for you.

Happy? Happy for what? Because I saved her from that uncomfortable situation? I don't think that's something she would feel the need to tell me. Anyone else would've done the same thing if they had even a sliver of common sense. I don't want to check the news, but the more I try to restrain myself, the harder it gets. It's to the point where it's so unbearable that I type my name on the search engine.

I used to be obsessed with status. I still kind of am. I used to have this bad habit of relentlessly checking my name on the web to ensure that nothing ill is said of me. That's thrown out the window now, which is precisely why I've shunned myself from reading the news about myself. It always ends up in a downward spiral in which I beat myself up over. And now I'm doing it again. I never learn.

Oh my goodness. The media has caught up to me. As I click on the first website, my mouth gapes open. I assume this is a mistake. It has to be a mistake. There's no other explanation than this being a ridiculous joke. I read the headline again, my head coiling. Breaking News: Prince Nicolas is rumored to be dating Lady Brynleigh! Below, a snapshot of us holding hands together is plastered onto the page, along with three entire paragraphs of conspiracies. That's when flashbacks of yesterday float through my brain. We were only holding hands for comfort, but obviously, they don't know that. This is seriously getting out of hand.

The press needs to stop making stuff up. It's driving me quite literally absurd! I steal a glance at Brynleigh to see if there's any indication that she knows, but she's chatting away with fellow Parisians like nothing happened. Either that or she's a master of deception. I never know with her. That's part of the fun of it. I have no expectations. The rest of my stay at the Eiffel Tower as well as the ride back are tainted. They're adulterated by the new knowledge I've gained.

Sometimes I wonder why I was blessed with such a good memory because I remember everything. I'm not just talking about the food I ate for breakfast this morning, but also really random facts that I couldn't tell you how I know. My mind gets so crowded sometimes that it overflows, and when that happens I will lash out or shut down completely. The news is going to be glued to my brain for a very, very long time. This is one of the few times where I think my exemplary memory is a curse rather than a blessing.

"So, Nicolas," Cyrus muses as we're wrapping up dinner. The parents have gone out to yet another meeting, so the table's all to us. "You never told me you were dating Bryn." I cough, almost spitting out my water at his bluntness. How does he know too? Oh, wait, I'm the prince. Everyone knows everything about me. That means Brynleigh most definitely must know by now too. Yikes.

"Uh, I um... we're actually not um–" I utter, struggling to find a way of saying this without painting myself as the villain.

"We actually just became official," Brynleigh cuts me off, leaving me dumbstruck. "You're the first person that knows. We wanted it to be private, but I guess that's over and done with now, so yeah," she explains, all the while I can only think about how this girl has downright lost her mind. I frantically search for some signal that she's kidding, but there's none. She's gone unhinged.