chapter sixteen

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He didn't say it back. Of course, he didn't. Why would he? I could only sit back in the limousine and watch as my whole world collapsed. I should be happy. I should feel over the moon because there's no more school and I can finally have the break I deserve. But I don't feel anything. I can't. Not when I've lost my other half. I stare out the car window, thinking about our last conversation together. I want to be mad at him for not saying it back. For letting me walk away. Except the only person I can hold liability toward is myself because he's done nothing wrong. He's not scared like I am. He doesn't have to hide. He's proud of who he is, and one day I'd like to be like him.

The first thing I notice when I get back to our palace is the empty bedroom. Hector's room. Wherever he is in the universe, I hope he's proud of me. I know that if he were in my situation, he would've done the same thing. He'd do anything for the sake of our family staying together. Hector was the perfect fit for a prince; he had the charm, the wit, and the strength to lead a nation. I, on the other hand, am the odd one out. The black sheep that's struggling to stay afloat. He'd have everything under control and help me sort my life out. Now I don't know what to do without him. I miss him so much.

My room is exactly how I left it months ago. Heaps and heaps of books precisely stacked up against the shelves, along with dirty laundry stuffed in the corner. As I begin reorganizing my stuff, I begin to realize how distant I felt from my own home. It's like I'm a stranger again. Nothing about the color of my bedsheets to the certificates lining my walls feels comforting. I don't want to stay here all winter long. If only there was a way for me to escape...

Suddenly I remember not too long ago when Cyrus told me his family was going to Paris and I was welcome to join. It's perfect, actually. I decide to send him a text before I forget. Hey. If you're still going to Paris, I'm totally down. I think about texting Sander too, but the nerves get to me and I can't bring myself to do it. I'll never forgive myself for tearing us apart, even though I know that I'll have to move on someday. If I can rebuild my life back up after getting kicked out of school, then surely, I can do this.

"Nicolas, dinner's ready!" My mom calls me.

"Coming," I yell back. I shut off my phone before walking over to the dining area where our cooks have prepared for us a fancy roasted chicken. If I'm being honest, the cooking is what I've missed most so far when I was away. Nothing comes close to the delightfully-crafted homemade meals chef Rosa makes.

"I want you to get a girlfriend," my mother declares as soon as I start munching on my food.

"What?" I cough, almost choking it all back out.

"I'm serious. It would be good for you and for the media. Think about it, any remaining suspicion people may have about you will cease once they learn you're dating a nice young lady," she adds. Ugh, as if I would ever do that. I discreetly roll my eyes when she's not looking, trying my best to remain calm. However, reasoning with her is like reasoning with a brick wall as once her mind's set on something, she'll never budge.

"I'll think about it," I shrug, although I know that's not going to happen. My heart is so wounded that even a bandage won't cover up the holes. I don't even want to imagine being with someone else, someone other than him. It'll make it seem like I've given up, yet somewhere deep down, I can feel myself aching to get back to him and forget everything else. Unfortunately, it's too late now. I can't keep getting stuck in the past because the only way to go is forward.

A chime comes from my phone, and it turns out that Cyrus has replied to my text message. Yup, we're leaving tmr. Brynleigh's coming too cuz our parents are friends. I can't wait!! He also attaches the information for the hotel, along with a map of the best tourist attractions. I didn't know that he and Brynleigh were close, considering they're what I'd call polar opposites. I mean, she's obsessed with palm reading and all sorts of spiritual practices, while he's been dreaming of becoming a professional athlete since he learned how to walk.

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