Royal Ever After

chapter twenty-two

"Ouch! Jeez, can you watch where you're going?" Sander mutters a profanity under his breath before turning around and realizing that it's me. His face drops. I thought that he couldn't be any more irritated than when I bumped into him, but now he's seething with a rage that could most assuredly burn me alive.

"Please, don't go," I manage a yelp. "We can't leave things the way they are. I'm asking you to hear me out just one more time. If you feel nothing, then leave. But if you feel even the slightest inkling of a spark reigniting in your soul, stay."

"Fine," he agrees, not bothering to put up any more resistance. A rush of relief floods into me because although this is my last shot, I'm going to make it count. And even if it doesn't work, I'll have known that I tried my best and went out with a bang. Except, the more I think about it, the less convinced I feel. Because deep down, I know that if this doesn't work, there's no way I'm going to make it out both alive and intact. I don't know how I'm ever going to forgive myself for losing my one true love. There was a before Sander and a during Sander. I can't even think about an after Sander, let alone live in a universe where that possibility exists.

I make my way to the library; my safe haven. I keep a watchful gaze on him and only relax when I can sense him trailing closely behind me. We go to the back and sit on two bean bags that have been positioned in a way that forces us into close proximity. A ping pong of trepidation bounces back and forth between my chest. Plit, plat. Plit, plat. If I extend my leg three inches further, I'll be able to touch him. Somehow, I find myself resisting that temptation. I can't push my luck. One wrong move and it's game over.

"You have five minutes," he warns, eyeing his watch.

"I'm not ashamed of you," I suck in a searing breath. "Every day without you is hell for me. I destroyed myself piece by piece until I had almost nothing left to live for. I've been swallowed up in my own pain and misery but you're the only reason I kept going. I'm in love with you. It's as simple as that." There is so much more I want to say, except my brain goes numb with memories that are too agonizing to remember, yet too blissful to forget.

"I love you too, Nicolas. A part of me will always love you. Which is why you should let me go. It's easier that way."

"No, don't say that. I know you've moved on, but I have not and never will. So I'm going to give you this..." I reach into my pocket and pull out the very thing that has both destroyed and saved me: the gold Rolex. I carefully adjust it onto his wrist, lingering my fingers long enough to feel his soft skin. When it fits perfectly, he looks up at me with glittery eyes.

"I never moved on," he says abruptly.

"What?"

"You said that I moved on, but I didn't. Kaiden wasn't using me because I never had any feelings for him whatsoever. I only needed him to mend my broken heart." His words sink in, causing a ripple to slide down my neck. Sander never liked Kaiden. It was pretend, just like Brynleigh and I. Before I can register what I'm doing, I pull him in for a hug. A much needed one, if I may add. I was fretting over nothing. I was fighting against something that was never there, something that was invisible.

I reach to plant the lightest kiss on his neck, which does more harm than good. It causes a chain reaction that makes me remember. I recollect his burning kisses, picturing them with such vivacity that I half-believe they're real. That mesmerizing, spiraling feeling of him pressing his lips from my shoulders to my collarbone to my pectorals. Like drowning upwards. Like floating.

I want Sander—his voice, his absolute tenderness, his never-ceasing sense of humor, his affection, his intensity. His highs. His lows. His honest emotions that shine through brighter than any star could. It's at this moment that I feel proud. Proud of him. Of us. Wholly, undeniably, proud. Because he is perfect. And we're lucky enough to exist at the same time on the same planet. And I found him.