TASM Peter Parker Imagines

Time Complaints

It is the best thing in the world to love Peter Parker. It also stands to reason, then, that losing him would hurt with just as great a power as gaining him for the first time. You have not lost Peter, not yet, although sensing it on the horizon is truly terrible indeed. All you can do is wait down the hours until he tires of the last pieces of you and leaves.

It must come soon, you know that. Peter is trying to live two lives in a world that barely gives you time for one, and it's wearing him to pieces. He's fighting a losing game as he tries to save both the city and himself, and although you know he cannot keep the battle alive forever, you didn't count on one of his losses being you.

You suppose you're just giving voice to useless speculation. As of right now, you are dating Peter Parker, and he has not done anything to make you think that ending things might be in the future. Then again, the reason you're worried is because he hasn't done anything to make you think that continuing your relationship could be in the future. He just hasn't done much of anything at all, and that is precisely why you're worried.

Peter is wonderfully focused when he finally gets around to it. He can do crazy things like become a superhero or design insane engineering projects and yes, love you when he puts his mind to it. The problem is that Peter has so many issues currently filling his plate that sometimes little things get pushed to the side. He once promised you that you would never be one of those cast-off pieces– but oh, is there nothing lovers like to do more than lie?

Peter had not intended that particular strain to be a lie. It didn't seem possible that it could ever be a lie. When the two of you first started dating, he swore to the sun and back that you were the only person he would ever care for, that your love was the only thing he could ever need. For a while, you believed him. It seemed impossible that it could ever be anything other than true.

The night comes to every beautiful day, however, and soon enough you find yourself wondering if Peter was really right to be so hopeful or just blindly optimistic in the face of every other lesson he's learned. His is not a life that allows for good things to last for long, and you fear that this moral is about to be proven correct once again.

Nothing feels more cold than Peter's absence. He's somewhere out there, you think, somewhere out in the city night, trying to keep the streets safe. Peter has tried to take breaks from the Spider-Man habit before, but they never last long. No matter how often he forces himself inside to focus on schoolwork or a job or you, he always ends up staring out the windows at the cityscape surrounding him. It's like keeping a bird of prey in a cage; no matter how gilded the bars, he'll always long for something more.

No, you could not keep him pinned down if you tried. That isn't to say that you have tried, of course– you've done your fair share of tossing Peter to the winds. He always came back after every hitch and stumble in your grand shared plan for a future, and you never had to worry for long. Not like you're worrying now.

Loving Peter gives you an extra view into how the city is slowly pulling him under. It feels like every week, Peter spends more time out there on patrols. At some point, he'll stop coming back inside, and then you'll have to wonder which of the dark alleys or twisting streets has claimed your boyfriend for good.

He's still fighting for now, though, and you suppose that should make you happy. All it truly brings out in you is a sick sort of jealousy. You feel alone more often than not, and when you compare it to memories of how Peter used to give up everything for you, his empty gap in the fabric you've woven together over your shared life hurts even more than ever.

You're standing alone on one of such nights. Peter had promised that you'd spend the night together, eating and studying and just trying to get by. When the sky deepens from sunset into hazy twilight and dark evening, though, you have to admit that he's not coming. You clear his plate from the table (no food wasted, you've long since learned that you shouldn't set out a meal unless you see the whites of his eyes) and content yourself to another night spent by yourself.