Sometimes it snows in April

Sleeping painting and seizures

I wake up in my chair. It just rained and the sun is peeking through the window. I check the time. It's really early. I decide to be productive and stand up. I take a shower and put on beige linen trousers and a line shirt with suspenders. It's a quite summery so I decide to wear a spencer and a brown-ish suit jacket. The jacket is made of wool so it's very warm. I step outside. I get a cigarette and look across the land. It's weird how this all is mine now. The sun and the grass are gleaming because of the dewdrops and the fog encloses the sun in a magical barrier. My lips seem to collect the water from the fog. I inhale sharply so I taste the freezing air. I get my lighter, it's the one dad gave me. I light the cigarette. The smoke mixes with the fog and hides my face in a whirl. This reminds me of my childhood. Me and my brother would fly kites. We would have fun with our own birds of prey. These days were perfect for that, they would be perfect for a winter picknick with my mom and we'd get caught by the rain only to take shelter in the greenhouse and have a picknick there. When I was older my brother would take me to the woods along with his friends, we'd tell stories by a bonfire and sleep in trees. We made the first versions of the treehouse in this sort of weather. The treehouse, in the end it was a massive one, we were so proud of it. I never returned after he died. Maybe I should dig up memories. Altough these memories soften my heart they also harden my anger and sadness. Why am I the one left behind? what have I done to deserve a life without anyone? I decide to visit my mother but she isn't awake so I return to the house. I can't get myself to call it home. 

I am sitting on the stairs staring at the floor. I feel like I've been hit by a rock. The only thing I'd like to do is lie in bed and die. Not necessarily forever just dying for a year or so. Just to have rest and escape this horrifying cycle of pain. I want to cry but begin to cough it's a really painful one and when it stops I see blood on my hand. I try not to worry about it, and wash my hands. I decide I cannot bear this so I go to bed. I can't sleep because I'm constantly crying. I want this to be over.

April pov

I'm looking in my closet for a proper outfit. Eventually I just choose a beige pantalon and a linen painters shirt. I really like spending time with theo. He makes my life light up. And I don't know how to say it to him. I can't say it, I'll ruin everything. I sigh and smile. I notice that my step sister is standing behind me. "and where are you planning to go?" "Nowhere important, so nothing I need to tell you." "You're going to the cavendishes again right?" "Sure, you have a problem with that." "Well to be honest maybe a little. You will never measure up to the people in that part if society. We aren't poor or something but we're not rich either. I'm scared you'll turn into them." "Theo isn't like that." She rolls her eyes. "Well, he still wears suits that cost more than this house probably." I sigh "can I do something right for you?" "Yeah please pick up some strawberries on you way home" I chuckle and shake my head. "sure, will do"

I arrive at the manor, I'm surprised Theo isn't waiting for me. The sun shines on my face and warm my chest. I decide to ring the bell. Bartholomew opens the door. "Hey Bartholomew, Theo invited me." "I know April." I'm surprised he uses my name that I prefer. He lets me in. "I'm not entirely sure where the master is but you'll probably find him in the library. I expect you know where that is?" "Yes, I'll manage to find it." After a long search for the library I find it. It's a beautiful library with thousands of books and a beautiful elegant spiral staircase. I look around, I always had a special hate towards libraries. When I was young it took me really long to learn how to read while I was really smart, that resulted in anger issues. Theo taught me how to read because he was the only one with enough patience. He taught me how to read here, six months after he taught me how to read we were already reading Shakespeare and other classics. He was my angel when I needed one. "Did you miss it?" I hear from behind me. Theo is standing there. With messy hair, a white face, red eyes and his shirt half open. His shirt reveals his chest which is trained but so incredibly skinny. He closes his shirt. "a little, are you okay?" He nods hesitantly. "I'm okay. Let's get the painting materials."

We walk through the meadow, the sun laughing in our faces. It accentuates how pale he is. I'm beginning to question if he might be sick. But I try not to think about bad things. I smile at him. He doesn't look at me and his frown doesn't soften. We set the things up. "Do how's your sister?" He asks while we start to paint. "Well she's okay as always. A little too opinionated for me. She always has a verdict for everything and everyone. My painting slowly starts to form while we're talking. It's in oranges and blues which make a very whimsical feel. I look at Theo's, it's painted with mostly dark colours and it's has a gloomy vibe. His phone rings. He answers "hello with theo Cavendish?" There's a short silence when his mouth open trying to gasp for air. His eyes produce tears as soon as it's possible. I look concerned at him and put a hand on his shoulder and mouth are you okay. He shakes his head. "Thank you" he hangs up the phone. He looks very unstanble on his legs I rush to him but I'm too late. His body hits the soft ground. I immediately panic his whole body is shaking and I have absolutely no idea what to do. I knew Theo suffered from seizures when he was young but he said he grew over it. I panic, what do I do?