Sometimes it snows in April

Church, rain and fire

I sit down on one of the benches in the church. I stare at the altar. I don't even try to pray. I just want the rest and the peace of what supposedly is a god. I sign and close my eyes. What am I even doing here? I don't even know to be completely honest. My head sums up facts to make me calm down. Your name is Clement Theodore, you are 23 years old, you had a brother, you live originally in London, it's spring, it's April, maybe it indeed is the cruellest month, the last month of death before everyone raises from their cozy chairs and exclaim the earth is coming alive again. I don't have energy to come alive. Not anymore, not now. I stand up, this does not help me at all. I ask the vicar if there's a back door or something and I use it to ensure no one is following me.

It's extremely cold outside, I smell the freezing air. I think it'll snow. It'll be the last snow of the year. I see a fox running through  the gras. I arrive at april's place. I knock on the door. Someone opens the door, it's April's mom. "Theo!!" "Dolores! I missed you!" She hugs me. "I'm sorry I didn't bring anything today. It's been a hell of a week." "Watch your mouth Theodore." I smile. "I'm sorry miss." April russhes to the door. "It's okay mom you can leave us alone." "No, why don't I make you and Theo a nice cuppa?" "That would be delightful ma'am." Me and April sit down while his mother makes us a nice cup of tea. April looks at me. "You good?" He asks in the most lighthearted manner I ever heard him speak. I try not to laugh. "Sure."

"So Theo, how are you holding up?" She asks while I help her putting the tea on the table. The world comes crashing down again. "I'm okay ma'am" She looks weirdly at me. I look at her. We drink a cup of tea. we talk about the world and how she's doing. Not much later April asks me if I want to go somewhere with him. I shrug. "Of course you two should be having fun"

We walk outside. It's snow raining, thags what I used to call it when there's a weird way in between snow and rain. "So how does it feel to be a prince?" April asks. I sigh. "It's like your life is one big show for everyone." He nods. "That's reasonable, so what are we planning to do?" "I don't know" it begins to rain. We walk into a field. I look at the sky and begin to laugh. The extremely cold water streams down my face and my happy tears with it. April starts to laugh too. We laugh and run through the field. "Hey Theo let's scream overly honest things to eachother." I nod. He starts "I always wished I had a sister but now that I have one it's not really fun" I laugh. We both tell eachother things when I look him in his eyes. "April I love you and if I ever need to marry someone I want to marry you." He looks me deep in the eyes and exclaims "me too" we fall unto the ground. Tired and happy, the rain puddling around our faces. Ruining my socks. But oh so happy.

April pov

Our are wet but we feel like children again. And that is magnificent. I love him, I really love him, I think it's the first person I really loved beside my family. I roll over so I can see his face. I look at him. His eyes are closed and he seems to have peace of mind, his face is peaceful as an angels. I imagined this is what divinity looks like. I put my hand on his cheek. "I love you" I say he opens his eyes and his pupils dilate, it's almost magical how the colour blinds me. He kinda sits up. "I love you more than I love myself, which is pretty easy, but it means a lot to me. And I never wanted a grand gesture as love. I want someone who loves me and shows it with a hand they reach while we're listening to our song and I'd do that for you. Have you heard of Saudade?" I shake my head "it means longing" he looks me in the eye I kiss him, not gently or lovingly but fiery like I have been trapping the feelings inside. Tender but with a afire love. He whispers "Je t'aime de toute mon âme" I smile. I don't know what exactly that means but I don't really care. I just love him and that's all that matters at the moment.

We hear the owner from these fields coming our of his house. We used to play here and he's a pretty good aquantance from my mom. "April?" "Sorry mister Reid. Could you do me a favour?" Theo is red because he needs to keep in his laughter. "You'll owe me something april." "Sure, can you close your eyes for a minute?"  "Only because it you April" me and Theo run into the nearrby woods. "Thanks mister!"

We arrive at the back of the manor. We are giggling and flat out laughing. It's like the old times but better. We dry our hair and change clothes. were laying on the floor in the library and I'm playing with his half wet hair. We are listening to Bowie and the world is fading. No press, no aristocracy, no problems. We are the only ones in the world. Just us, the world of books and the voice of a legend. It cannot be more perfect. We cannot be more perfect. He reaches out and in a magical moment I feel his hand in mine. My eyes water from happiness and my heart is dancing. This is us, the new us.