Hating Noah

Part Four- Chapter 32

"Benjamin Gray is waiting for you in room 162," the aged receptionist gave me a warm smile, almost as if she could read my troubled mind and thoughts. Or maybe, she knows the man occupying that same room and thinks a smile will help me face him after weeks of separation.

The hallways of the recovery center weren't as pale as I thought they would be, yet the feeling of growing emptiness kept me company while I walked toward the unknown.

My short journey ended when the triple-digit number begged for my attention, and I couldn't help but beg him back to become a double-digit number. 

I needed more time to rethink the whole situation. And maybe, just maybe, use the time running to the closest bus station.

But Jacob deserves much better than a broken family, and with that thought in mind, I grabbed the door handle with my sweaty hands and pushed it down.

Now, here is the thing about reunions. No matter how thrilling or even tragic they might be, there will always be that nanosecond of silence when your eyes first lay on the person who makes your heart beat like a freaking drum. 

Unfortunately, in my case, the silence lasted much more than just a nanosecond.

For about half an hour, the one and only Benjamin Gray kept his mouth shut. The one thing I was sure of by the end of the first five minutes was that I could be the one rewriting the definition of discomfort the second I walk out of that dusty place.

"An honest apology is not what you are looking for, but besides that," he cleared his throat, almost as if he could feel my eyes burning a hole through his vocal cords.

"I've got nothing else to give."

"An honest explanation will make a good start."

I didn't know what to expect when I first heard that my father, the man who choked me so hard I could barely breathe, asked to meet me. But it sure wasn't anything I could ever think of by myself.

"The day I started drinking was the day I found out your mother is seeing someone. Her job as a nurse required most of her time, but something began changing in her. She spent most of her nights outside of home, saying that her friends from work are living closer to the hospital and it's better if she stays with them. I don't know if you remember, but there were times when she disappeared for weeks. And when she did come back to check up on you and Jacob, she only thought her new earrings were invisible, but she was wrong."

"Why didn't you say anything?" He took a deep breath before he continued.

"I couldn't confront her, Skylar. I had no proof, and you know how well your mother can play the victim when she wants to." My heart skipped a beat when I thought about Jacob under her care.

"When did you find out?"

"Years ago, but the last couple of months were the hardest."

"What do you mean?"

"She wasn't trying to hide her affair from me anymore. She knows how alcohol weakens me. Most days, I can barely get out of bed. And let's be real, Skylar, no one is planning to believe a drunk husband anytime soon."

Benjamin Gray seemed lost. Yet I couldn't help him find his way back to the life he wished for because I was far behind him.

~~~~~~~~~

I have never seen a room so dark before. When I turned on the lights, the darkness soon turned into emptiness. Noah was gone, and I couldn't help but think how I preferred the dark over the fact that he left without me.

I wasn't planning on sitting right next to him for eight hours after he clarified that my company was not something he was looking for at any time of the day. But the yellow armchair and plain white bed couldn't hurt me more.

I was on my own. My thoughts and worries were kind enough to show me where the next bus heading south should stop. Then, they left me standing in the cold. And God, it was freaking freezing. 

The watch on my left hand played with me, and the game was too evil for my liking.

14:28

I will never get back home.

~~~~~~~~~

My butt was killing me due to the long drive, yet it was the last thing that concerned me at that moment. A fifteen-minute walk from the last bus station to Noah's place was supposed to be the most uncomplicated task of my day, but for the last ten minutes, the rain refused to keep me warm and dry.

I walked back home with nothing on me but a white tank top and skinny blue jeans. The rain didn't miss a single spot on my shaking body, and the only reason I fought back the tears was that the sky already cried for me.

I didn't even think of knocking like the polite person I was before opening the door and revealing the most exhausted person on earth to the residents of the house.

The two boys were staring at me, one was giving me his usual irritating glare and the smaller one watched me with amusement. I couldn't help but wonder how Noah explained himself once he came back without me.

I kneeled in front of my little brother(placing both my knees on the floor so that the chances of Noah slipping on the floor later will somehow increase), knowing that I would do anything for that kid, but it was time to do something for myself.

"Jacob, love, underneath our bed is your favorite bag, the green one with the monster on it. You know what I am talking about?" Jacob nobbed. For the first time in months, he seemed like a boy his age with his confused beautiful eyes and sad smile, almost as if he could read my mind.

"Good. I need you to go and find it, then pack all your clothes. The soccer ball you can carry with you. We are going back home."

~~~~~~~~~ 

Please(don't kill me) vote and comment❤️