Dear Mr. Parker,

Food Court and Agreements

I'm Johnny and I'm here to tell you that it's been a week

(editor's note; the Johnny ik in real life is totally a great person and not forcing me to mention him) 

Christmas songs are playing as my friend group walks through the mall. We don't actually need to buy anything we just wanted food court food. We pause in front of a store because Kei stopped walking. It was an H&M and they were quite very intently staring at an ad. 

"They are so hot. Gods, I'm so gay," they repeat for a good minute before Cam and MJ give up and walk away discussing torturing people or classical music or something. 

"Move it before I steal you're leg," I threaten before turning to Peter. "How hard do you think it would be to steal the Winter Soldier's metal arm?"

"Not at all, not at all. We just need a really strong magnet," he explains before convincing Ned to run after the other two. Kei and I walk over there. Bold of your ass to assume I run when I don't have to.

We meet at the food court and eat whatever it has. It's been awhile since I've been to one.

"How many times are they going to play All I Want For Christmas is You, in one godam hour?" I complain, wait no, question as it plays for the fifth that hour.

"It's not that bad," Cam says, pulling an Airpod out of her ear.

"Boi, you're not even listening to it," I complain.

"You're right. I'm listening to the Newsies soundtrack on repeat," she says, very matter-of-factly. 

"Are all my friends gay?" I blurt out. I look to Peter and Ned's conversation.

"Nah, cause I'd actually let him hit," Peter says.

"Same though. He's just so manly and ah," Ned responds.

"Yep. All my friends are gay," I say, louder causing the people next to us to laugh. 

Johnny here againnn

"Can I go please?" I talk to Peter

"I don't know," he responds.  

We're sitting on a bench near the children's play area. I swear, promise on Paul Rudd's eternal youngness, that we are not being creepy. This was just the first bench that we found. 

"Please, I'll buy you two Delmar's sandwiches," I bargain.

"Yeah, alright," he agrees. "We'll go after this."

The rest of our friends takes this lovely moment to leave the store and leave the mall. It was only like 3 hours spent there and 93 exact playings of the song All I Want For Christmas For You and an unberarable amount of Baby It's Cold Outside. I could probably repeat those songs word for word and I am not happy about it. Gah, I wanna stab people.