Amanda

Chapter 13

I escaped, barely. Grasses and muddy dirt sticking on my pants. She just stood over the open window, I knew this even without glancing behind me. Sa mga oras na iyon, tanging nakakarinding tibok lang ng puso ko ang naririnig ko at ang paghingal ko, I used Rei's car and without even thinking, I found myself on the edge of a cliff, nasa dulo na ako ng hometown ko, an abandoned expanse with empty beat up cars and naked trees leaning over the cliff, like they're taunting me to just do it.

Pinatay ko muna ang makina at isinandal ang noo ko sa steering wheel, pinapahid ko ng marahan ang pasmado kong palad sa nanngangatog ko pang tuhod. Mariin kong isinara ang mga mata ko ng ilang segundo. I didn't kill Rei, that much is clear but still I will be the primary suspect.. no one is going to suspect Amanda, I know this because she'll hid the body or I don't know how will she do it but she has her ways. Fuck! I slammed my balled fists on the steering wheel, the pain didn't do anything but made all of this far from being a fucking dream. I grit my teeth, went out and slam the car door. I jog to the back of the car and began leaning my weight against it, pushing it with what energy I have left.

Ang unang kalahati ng sasakyan ay nasa dulo na ng cliff, it hangs and with more hard push, its whole body stumbled forward and met the ocean in a blink of an eye. Lumapit ako para tingnan yung sasakyang nalulunod na. It sank slowly, the water quickly rushing inside the open windows.

I didn't linger there much longer, bumalik ako sa bahay namin at nagmadaling nag impake. I heard the door in my room opening, "Bat ka nagmamadali? Isn't your classes starting next week pa?" nagtatakang tanong ni mama. I closed my eyes and sighed for a moment before addressing her, "Kailangan pa namin ni Paula maghanap ng marerentahan," it was the first thing that I blurted out, I shouldn't have come back here for this fucking stupid summer job. Now, it seems meaningless to even live together with Paula, I don't even want to see her face anymore. It will just remind me of how my life before everything went downhill.

I tug at the zipper of my bag and hauled the strap to my shoulder. "Tatawagan ko na lang kayo pag nakabalik na ako sa dorm," I passed through mom, sinundan niya ako sa sala habang nag totoothbrush siya. "Enough na ba yung allowance--" I opened the door, "Oo ma," I cut her off and closed the door behind me with urgency.

"Fuck man, you look shit," unang bungad sa akin ni Jake nang namataan niya akong nakahilata lang sa kama ko sa kwarto naming dalawa. Truth to be told, tatlong araw na yata akong hindi nakakapagligo, it doesnt matter since our semester hasnt started yet. I kept still, nakatutok lang ang tingin ko sa nabubulok na kisame namin. "Alam na ba ni Paula na nakabalik ka na?" usisa ni Jake habang nakapwesto sa kama niya na nasa kaliwang parte ng kwarto. I heard a zipper opening and rustling of things in a bag.

 "No," mahina kong tugon. "Ha? nag- away ba kayo o baka may nahanap kang babae roon sa inyo kaya parang ayaw mo nang bumalik dito ah," sambit ni Jake, hindi ko mapigilang matawa ng mapakla. Bulls fucking eye but the difference is that she's a murderer and maybe a witch, then there's a dead body and a car missing. Pwede ko na yatang gawing bestseller tong summer break ko if I was a writer.

"Uso rin maligo pare," sabay halakhak ni Jake na may dalang tuwalya at inihampas ito sa paanan ko bago isinukbit muli ito sa balikat niya. He shut the door in the cr. Itinulak ko ang sarili ko paupo at sumandal sa ulo ng kama ko, I rolled my long sleeves up. A patch of dark blue and violet bruises are scattered, maliit lang naman sila but- mabilis kong ibinaba uli ang sleeves ko when the door in our room were violently opened loudly. It bang and I looked up surprised. Nakita ko si Paula na nakapamaywang na lumalapit, a cigarette in her lips. She sucked on it first, her bloody red nails at view as she blew a smoke right on my face. A look of displeased written in her face.

"What the hell, Miguel?"

Usually, on a normal circumstances, the first sight of Paula would have made me happy but seeing her this close and hearing her voice got my stomach churning. I faked a cough. "Sorry, ayoko kasing mahawaan ka kaya hindi muna ako tumawag," pagrarason ko. It helped that my hair was greasy, my eyebags are swelling and I haven't changed into any clothes yet. Her facial expression softened, sa gilid namin ay maririnig pa rin ang malakas na buhos ng shower sa cr. "Sa labas na lang tayo mag usap, maliligo muna ako pag natapos na si Jake," I added. Tumango si Paula, she reached for my cheek and gave it a light squeeze. "Okay, bibili na lang rin muna ako ng makakain natin," she left me alone afterwards, the door opened and closed. The shower died down.

Pinilit ko na lang na nguyain tong burger na hawak ko, wala akong malasahan, para akong ngumunguya ng sandpaper. The chicken feels rough on my tongue and it was hard to swallow since my throat was parched. She had to bought this shitty fastfood, of course, what did I expect? nasa tabi ko rin siya ngayon, we sat with food between us in a bench outside the men's dormitory where I stay at. 

"You haven't been answering to my calls and texts since I dont know," panimula ni Paula. I kept on chewing, focusing all my attention to the twist and turn of the food in my mouth. "Mahal mo pa rin ba ako?" tanong niya. Nilukot ko yung burger wrapper na hawak ko. "Oo naman," I said. A glimpse of Rei's shattered head didn't escape my mind. My fist went quickly to my mouth that was closed shut. Fuck. "Huy, okay ka lang ba?" natatarantang ani ni Paula nang sinulyapan niya ako, inabutan niya naman ako agad ng maiinom. The coke stings my throat as I forced the food to go back down my throat.

"Bat ka ba nagsusuot ng longsleeves? tanghali tapos ayan ang suot mo?" puna ni Paula, lightly tugging at my arm, pinapatayo niya ako. I complied. I freed myself from her grip. "Nilalamig ako eh," umiling- iling na lang siya, she could tell how sweaty my forehead was when I brushed my hair with my hand. "By the way, meron akong nahanap na cheap condo, all thanks to my friend, tinulungan niya akong maghanap eh," sambit niya habang nakatuon siya sa hawak niyang phone. Iniharap niya ang screen sa akin para makita ang picture. Tumango lang ako, "Right, okay.. puntahan natin ngayon rin?" suhestyon ko. She smiled, "Yes, I was about to say that."