Soulmates

Chapter 17: Apologies

Tris wakes early in the morning, surprisingly warm. She wiggles a little as she comes awake, and an arm around her middle tightens. Her eyes pop open. She's not alone. In fact, she seems to be laying on top of someone. 

A quick breath through her nose reveals the comforting and familiar smell of Eric, and she dares to glance up to see his handsome, sleeping face. Their bodies are pressed together, Tris' smaller torso on top of Eric's. Her head rests on his chest, just above his heart. Their legs are intertwined, and his arms hold her securely to him.

"Hmmm," Eric mumbles as he comes awake. "This is nice."

Tris nods against his chest. "It would be better if I hadn't slept in faux leather leggings. I'll probably never peel them off."

"Well," says Eric with a chuckle, "you don't have to wear pants on my account."

Tris feels her cheeks redden. They lay quietly for a few minutes, Eric stroking Tris' back.

"I like waking up with you in my arms," Eric says. "You can sleep here any time. Next time we can even try the bed."

"I'll pack my pjs," Tris says, planting a kiss to the underside of Eric's stubbly jaw.

"Or not…" he teases, making Tris blush again.

"Can I … Can I see your other soulmark?" Tris asks nervously.

"Are you trying to get me out of my pants, young lady?" Eric asks.

"No! I just… I mean…"

Eric laughs. "You're fun to tease," he says, nuzzling into Tris' hair.

He pulls the edge of his pants low enough to reveal the grey marks on his hips.

Tris' fingers stroke the soulmark. "Shut up," it says, in the same grey scrawl as her "What's your name?" mark. She shifts her body so she can see the word "Me" in her own handwriting on the other hip.

"I've seen yours," Eric says. Tris freezes, her face confused and shocked. "Your soulmarks," Eric clarifies, and she relaxes. "After your fight with Peter, Hana called Four and I to the infirmary. She knew that we both had two marks. We both knew we matched with you from Choosing Day. When an Abnegation-born shows up in Dauntless and says your word, even a little word like 'me,' or 'um,' you notice. But that's when we realized that Four and I both matched with you. And that we matched each other."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tris asks.

"You were an initiate, and we were your instructors. We couldn't show favoritism, and we didn't want to add anything to your already overwhelming situation. Plus, we're as confused as you are about why there are three of us," Eric reminds her.

"I wanted to tell you,” he continues as his large hands stroke her soft hair and small back. “I wanted to hold you so many times. I can't really explain it, Baby, but I am just so drawn to you - like a magnet. You are a beautiful, brave, strong, and sexy-as-hell Dauntless woman. My first jumper. My top initiate. My brave girl with only six fears."

Tris grins slightly, her bottom lip trapped in her teeth and her gaze averted. "Tris?" Eric says, causing her to look up. "You're so beautiful. May I kiss you?" 

Tris nods, and Eric draws her closer to his face so they can kiss. His first move is light, lips brushing tenderly. Tris sighs, and Eric takes it as a good sign and goes in for a deeper kiss.

xxxx

Instead of the cafeteria, Eric guides Tris to his office.

"What are we doing?" she asks. "I have to choose my job and stuff."

"We have an hour or so," Eric says. "I called a 'family meeting' so we could talk about yesterday."

"I don't know if I'm ready to see Four, or, um, Tobias," Tris says. "I don't even know what to call him."

"We should ask," Eric suggests.

Four is waiting outside Eric's office, a bag and a drink holder with three coffee cups in his hands. Eric lets them in, and they sit in the three chairs on one side of the desk.

Four distributes breakfast, and Eric begins talking. "So, um, I called us all here," he says, "because we need to talk about what happened yesterday. I know we're all overwhelmed, and there's no known precedent for our situation. Additionally, each of us, to varying degrees, have baggage and emotional trauma from growing up with two marks. So try to be sensitive and not hurt each other, okay?"

"I need to apologize to Tris," Four says. "I'm sorry I hurt you yesterday and made you feel unwanted. I have a lot of issues because of my parents. I'm also having a really hard time with the reality that Eric is one of my soulmates. I kind of, um, freaked out. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I also need to apologize," Eric says. "I didn't realize how it would sound to you, Tris, when I explained that soulmates might be able to be just friends. As I explained last night, I was talking about me and Four, not me and you."

"And Four," Eric continues, turning to face Tobias. "I owe you an apology as well. I… I…"

Tris is surprised to see Eric getting choked up. She sets her coffee down on the desk and puts a hand on the big man's shoulder.

"I don't want to be like your dad!" he finally declares. "You and I have this contentious history of rivalry and fighting, and in Dauntless we often talk with our fists - at least among men, anyway. When I realized that your words hurt Tris and that she ran off believing that we didn't care about her, I snapped! I don't want to be that kind of person! I don't want to do anything to remind you of him, or make you think of me that way. I'm so sorry."

Four looks stunned by Eric's words. "I don't know what to say," he begins. "I guess I… um… thank you for apologizing, I guess. I know that's not easy. It's kind of hard to explain, but there's a difference between a fist fight and abuse. I can honestly say I didn't equate the two. I knew I was wrong when I started saying all that stuff, and I realized that I hurt Tris. I'm not afraid of you, Eric. Remember our words? When I told you to shut up, that was the first time I ever defended myself. You've made me brave since the day we met."

"Wow," says Eric. "Thank you. And for what it's worth, you've been changing my perspective on stiffs since then."

"To- um, Four, what do you prefer us to call you?" Tris asks.

"In public, please call me Four," he says. "But when it's just us, you guys can call me Tobias if you want. It's kind of nice hearing my own name again."

Tris reaches over and squeezes his hand. "Thank you, Tobias."

"As much as I hate to cut this little meeting short, we have two trainers and a top-ranked initiate who are due in the cafeteria like right now."