Soulmates

Chapter 29: Empty

War doesn’t stop for grief. After a giving her a few minutes, Lieutenant Thomas takes a knee beside Tris.

“Major,” he says gently. Tris turns her stunned face to the Lieutenant. “I think we need to send the Colonel back to the compound. Are you okay with assuming command here?”

“How… How long will he be unconscious?” Tris asks.

“He should come around soon,” Thomas says. “I can take you somewhere else if you’d like. He was quite violent before we sedated him.”

“No,” Tris said firmly. “I need to be here when he wakes up.”

“Are you sure?” Thomas asks. Tris nods.

The Lieutenant ducks back through the flap to the front part of the tent, leaving Tris alone with Eric’s unconscious form. Unable to get off the floor, Tris crawls to the side of Eric’s cot. She lifts the dead weight of his arm and lays her head on his chest, putting his heavy arm across her shoulders. The tears come then, a downpour of them. They mingle with the dried blood on Eric’s chest, staining Tris’ cheeks.

“Tris,” Eric mumbles as he wakes up. He groans as his memories return. “Is this real?” he asks, silently begging Tris to tell him that it’s just a bad dream.

“Eric,” Tris croaks, unable to say anything else.

They shift so Tris is laying fully on top of Eric, her knees by his sides on the cot and their Kevlar-clad chests pressed together. Eric wraps his large arms around Tris’ back, squeezing her close. She tucks her hands under him, pressing her face into the crook of his neck. They stay like that, sobbing quietly and holding on to one another.

“I’m sorry,” Eric eventually says in a choked voice. “I’m so sorry. He died for me, Tris. What do I do with that?”

“You live for him,” Tris says, her voice little more than a whisper. “I don’t know how. I feel so empty right now. But all I know is that he died so you could live, and the only thing you can do to honor that is to live.”

“I loved him,” Eric says. “I never told him that because it was weird to say it to a guy. But he was my brother, my friend, and he understood me. I wasn’t brave enough to tell him, but I loved him.”

“He loved you, too,” Tris says.

“I know,” Eric says. “He gave his life to show me. I can’t believe he’s gone.”

“Me neither,” says Tris. She sits up on her knees, still straddling Eric’s torso, and wipes the tears from his face. He places his big hands on her thighs, and she can feel the warmth through her uniform pants.

“You need to apologize to Thomas,” Tris says quietly. “Apparently you gave him a black eye and split his lip. That’s why you were sedated. They want to send you back to the compound and leave me in charge.”

“I won’t leave you,” Eric says.

“Good,” Tris says. “You have rank here. Go tell Thomas what we’re going to do next. After you apologize, of course.”

Eric sits up and swings his legs off the cot. He wraps his arms around Tris again, and buries his head in her hair. “I missed you,” he says.

“I missed you, too,” Tris says, kissing him on the cheek.

xxxx

While Eric apologizes to Thomas and is brought up to speed on the fight with the factionless, Tris uses one of the communication computers to speak to Max.

“Tris!” the leader says when he sees her face. “Is that blood?”

“Yes,” she says, “but it’s not mine. Four is dead, Max. He jumped in front of Eric and took a bullet that was meant for him.”

“I know,” Max says gently. “That’s why I sent you out there. I knew you and Eric would need each other.”

“Thank you,” Tris says softly, surprised by the gesture. “We were soulmates, Max. All three of us. We each have two soulmarks, and we fit together like puzzle pieces.”

“That explains a lot,” Max says with a sigh. “Soulmate loss is a special kind of grief. I’m really sorry.”

Tris nods. “Eric and I are staying here until you send someone to replace us,” she informs her boss. “He and Thomas are going over plans with the other officers right now. Please wait to hold Tobias’ funeral until we get there.”

“I’ll come out there tomorrow,” Max says, “and I’ll stay until the end of Eric’s two weeks. Then Harrison will come as scheduled if we’re still fighting by then. I’m afraid I can’t really give you both time off right now, but I can arrange a day for the funeral and a week or so once things settle down with the factionless.”

“Thank you,” Tris says. “I know Eric and I are listed as Tobias’ contacts, but since we’re out here I thought Zeke could make some decisions about the funeral. Is there a way I can talk to him?”

Max buzzes his administrative assistant and has him send for Zeke and Shauna. Tris is grateful that Max thought to have Zeke’s soulmate there with him so they don’t have to face this alone. She opens the tent flap and calls for Eric to come update Max on the battle while they wait for Zeke.

“Hey Tris! What are you doing on the front lines?” Zeke asks when he arrives in Max’s office and sees her on the computer monitor.

“We had a bit of an emergency last night,” she says. There’s a tap on Max’s office door and Shauna walks in.

“Hey Baby,” Zeke greets his girlfriend, and Tris can hear that the jovial tone of his voice is gone, replaced by worry.

“What’s going on?” Shauna asks, waving to Tris through the monitor.

“I’m afraid I have some bad news,” Tris says. She feels the lump in her throat threaten to choke her as she prepares to give her friends information that will hurt. “Last night a group of factionless attacked the camp again. When some of our troops chased them, they walked into a trap. There were factionless with guns. Four was killed.”

“Oh my God,” breathes Shauna. Zeke puts his arm around his girlfriend as Shauna and Tris begin to cry.

“He was a hero,” Tris sobs. “He died saving Eric’s life.”

For a minute they just sit and cry together over video. Eric appears in the frame when he sits down next to Tris and puts his arms around her.

“Because we’re both here, we need you to make funeral arrangements,” Eric tells Zeke. “Max is relieving us tomorrow. I thought we could do the funeral on Tuesday if that works for Max. We already sent the body home to be cremated, and we’ve asked that his faction of origin not be notified.”

“Of course,” says Zeke. “I’ll do whatever you need. How are you guys feeling?”

“Empty,” says Tris.