Soulmates

Chapter 30: Goodbye

Eric and Tris stand arm-in-arm on a boulder near Tobias’ favorite place at the bottom of the chasm. A handful of friends stand on the ground around them. A spotlight shines on the pair and it appears to get brighter as the lights around the Chasm area are shut off one by one. Eric and Tris look up at the crowd of Dauntless gathered on the walkways, ledges, and bridge over the Chasm. Each of them holds a candle, and as the room darkens they begin to light them.

Eric raises a bullhorn to his face so he can be heard over the roar of the river. “We are here today to celebrate the life of a Dauntless legend,” he begins. “Four was one of our bravest members. Even his name was a celebration of his bravery. He came to us with only four fears, by far the fewest in Dauntless history. But true bravery is in his real identity. Four was Tobias Eaton.”

Around the chasm people murmur in surprise. “The bravest thing Tobias ever did was to break free of his abusive father,” Eric continues. “As a sixteen-year-old, he walked away from his abuser and built a new life for himself. No one comes to Dauntless less prepared than an Abnegation transfer. But to Tobias it was worth the risk, worth the hard work, to be free of a monster that would beat a child.”

Dauntless members cheer, and Eric waits for them to quiet before passing the bullhorn to Tris. “One of Tobias’ four fears was heights,” she tells the crowd. “Yet every day he climbed the ledges and bridges of this compound fearlessly. I once asked him how he could live in this compound and function with the fear of heights. He told me that he simply ignored his fear.

“Bravery isn’t the absence of fear,” Tris continues. “Bravery is acting in the face of fear. Tobias lived that truth every day. And he died for that truth. When the factionless lured some of our troops into an ambush, Tobias gave his life - jumped in front of a bullet - to save his friend.”

She passes the bullhorn back to Eric when the tears make it hard for her to speak.

“There is an ancient writing that says, ‘greater love has no man than this - that he would give his life for a friend.’ Tobias gave his life for me. He gave his life for Dauntless. He gave his life for Chicago.”

The roar of the crowd far exceeds the roar of the river in the Chasm. Eric holds up the flask in his hand, and Tris does the same. Around the chasm, Tris sees sparkles as people hold up flasks and bottles in the candlelight.

“To Four!” Eric yells into the megaphone.

“Four! Four! Four!” the crowd screams as one voice.

A second spotlight shines on the bridge, where Zeke and Shauna hold up the urn of Tobias’ ashes. They kneel down as the crowd continues to chant, and they pour the ash into the Chasm, where it joins the swirling water.

The noise of the river and the crowd reach a fever pitch, and Tris feels like the sound is the only thing holding her upright. Tears pour down her face as she absorbs the love and respect of their faction saying goodbye.

When the Pit lights come on and the spotlights are extinguished, Eric and Tris sit down on the boulder. The crowd disperses, off to finish the Dauntless funeral tradition by getting drunk. Tobias’ closest friends stay together, waiting for Zeke and Shauna to return.

When only the core group of Tobias’ friends remains, they spend a few hours telling their favorite stories about their friend. Tris and Eric are able to answer some questions about Marcus and Tobias’ transfer from Abnegation. Eric tearfully tells the group the details of Tobias’ last moments. They drink, and cry, and hug one another as they remember the man who meant so much to them.

When most of the compound is quiet, Tris and Eric sneak back to the leadership wing and lock themselves in Tris’ apartment. They habitually take their usual spots on the couch, but neither of them can take their eyes off the empty space on Tris’ other side.

“I was thinking about having his soulmark tattooed next to mine,” Eric says quietly.

“I like that,” Tris says. “And since it’s our own handwriting it should be easy to do. I was thinking about a tattoo also. There’s an ancient knot design with three loops called a Celtic trinity knot. It was a religious symbol that meant three-in-one. I thought it was fitting and pretty.”

“We should do both,” Eric says.

They sit quietly for a few minutes, wiping the occasional tear.

“I keep thinking about what you told me,” Eric says. “Tobias died for me, so I have to live for him. Thank you for saying that. The guilt of someone taking a bullet for you is heavy. It’s overwhelming to think that Tobias wanted me to live so bad that he was willing to die so it could happen. I mean, I know people say that, but he did it. He died for me. A life for a life. Not for the greater good, or an innocent child, or his entire squad. Just me. I need to make something out of that priceless gift. I need to be worthy of that.”

“You’re already worthy,” Tris says, turning to put her hands on Eric’s face. “Tobias knew that you were already worthy of life. You don’t have to earn the gift he gave you. You just have to accept it and make the most of it.

“I love you, Tris,” Eric says.

“I love you, too,” she replies.

With many tears and kisses, they vow to one another that together they will live for the gift of life that Tobias gave them, and that they will carry the memories with them always.