The Four of Us

Kennedy Introduction

Some nights my room smells of febreeze and perfume. Not to strong, but you can tell it's there. Times when I tried to purify my room, to clean out every mark of everything I had done. On these nights, I just lay there and read books about poets long dead and remember the joys of living. Other nights my room smells of cigarettes and vodka, so overpowering it would make you almost sick. Evidence of times I tried to purge my soul from all the things others had done and the mistakes I made. On these nights I stumble in and stare at the ceiling, and rememeber the tragedies that being alive
brings. I should quit, but I'm too fond of killing myself.

Once, I saw two girls. One looked about 16 and the other girl looked as if she was only 9 years old. The older one was smoking and when the younger one told her "It's bad for your body." She acted like she didn't know and pretended to be super surprised.

I think she just didn't want to tell the girl that sometimes people destroy themselves, to feel alive for a few seconds.

So here I am, with a cigarette in between my fingers, as I inhale the intoxicating smoke, and it looks like another one of those nights where I try to feel alive because I can't feel anything at all.