Dealing with Jealousy (TsukiYama)

I'll love you forever

"When I say I'm nervous I mean I'm nervous as shit." Yamaguchi says, talking to Akaashi.

"Why don't you just confess?" Akaashi retorts, raising an eyebrow towards his kouhi.

Yamaguchi stopped pacing and stared at Akaashi wide eyed.

"Do you even understand the man I'm trying to convey my feelings for, he's basically a robot with his concealed emotions." He said gripping his hair smushing his face slightly.

"Which is why you won't ever know what he's feeling unless you day something first, I have a hard time expressing my emotions but that doesn't mean their not there." Akaashi patted him on the shoulder before making his way towards the gym entrance.

"I should write this down."

Yamaguchi made his way to his bag grabbing his notebook he opened it turning to the first blank page.

You know I have loved you for years on end, I've never wavered on how I feel about you. I want to tell you, but everytime I think about it my throat becomes clenched as if viens are wrapping themselves around my words trapping me in a endless loop of admiring you but never telling you how I feel. I'm just happy being the closest person to you, or at least I was until you met him. Perfect Kuroo, older, stronger, and more interesting then I could even imagine being. How am I ever to say how I feel about you when I know what you like in a person? I need to become a different person practically to be able to be the person you like. I just need you to stay by my side, so I'm ok if I never get to tell you. I'll love you forever either way, so just know your always loved by one person in this world.

-Yamaguchi
To Kei Tsukishima

Looking at the note he carefully folded the note,and tucked it away in his bag.

"Oddly this makes me feel better, maybe one day I'll actually give it to him."

I turn on music, and focus my attention onto the lyrics. Tsukishima sent me this palylist last month when I told him I was having a hard time, I think this is how he shows he cares.

You were doing so well, did the dog eat your homework again?

I think "dog" is referring to anxiety or depression, I often get to distracted because of anxiety and over thinking.

I can't help myself...

I really can't it's just a protection mode thing for me.

Cause my friend says in really life..it's only the police that ever come looking for you.

I wonder if Kei would look for me if I dissappeared. How long would it take for someone to notice I was missing? Would everyone be worried or would they just going with thie-

"Yamaguchi you in there?" It's Hinata.

"Dinners about to be ready, and if you don't come quick you'll only get the scraps!" I then hear him run off.

I sigh and pull out my earbud.

"Guess I'll listen to this later."

(The song is Moment by Vierre cloud.) It's really good also sorry for not updating I'm finally back! And I will be consistent this time since I'm over the bumps of losing my brother and school starting back up. 🥰 so thanks for all the people who have stuck around to read this.