Heart of Steel: B. Bradshaw

Nineteen: Booze

"Fuck you Bradshaw," the words slur off her lips. A half empty bottle trapped tight in her grip.

"Steely this is ridiculous," Bradley leaned against the doorway in the kitchen. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest as he stared down at her in frustration.

"You know what I think is ridiculous?" a hiccup cut off her sentence. Steely brought her pointer finger up and poked him hard in the chest "Your fucking audacity. Never did I ask you to come over and tell me how I should and should not mourn. You have no right."

"I'm not trying to tell you what to do, Im just worried your going to drink yourself to death," Bradley grabbed her face in his hands. Her eyes were glazed over with a mix of tears and alcohol induced flush.

"Don't worry. I'm not asking you to worry about me."

Steely turned away from him a little too quickly and lost her balance falling straight to her knees. Her hands lay flat on the floor as small giggles bubbled up through her lips. Soon she began full on laughing as Bradley swooped in to help her back to her feet.

She swatted his hands away from her body and moved to leave the kitchen. She couldn't stand being near him. The heat from his body was no longer comforting. Steely felt like she would burn alive if he stayed around any longer.

"Steel where are you going?"

"Leave Bradley," she can hear him follow behind her. His presence lingering through every room she enters and exits.

Steely desperately needed to be alone. Everything about him reminded her of what she was trying to forget. The pitiful look in his eyes sliced through her at random, sending painful jolts towards her broken heart.

"No. I'm not leaving until we sit down and talk about what you're feeling," Bradley wasn't going to give up on her. He understood what she was going through and he though he was the best person to help her.

"I know what you're trying to do Bradshaw and it's not going to work," she all but growled the words at him. She was so sick of this and wanted him out. Now.

"What am I trying to do?"

Steely turned to face him and watched as the shadows of the room reveal the true feelings of his features. He was frustrated, good that's exactly how she wanted him. Steely wanted him to go away and she was going to do whatever it took.

"You think because your dad died that you have a insight into what i'm feeling. Newsflash Brad your dad died before you were even potty trained. You didn't understand exactly what happened, you were too young."

She was now in his face. She watched as his eyes darkened with every word that left her mouth. He was growing more angry with every syllable. Steely knew that her words were awful but she could not bring her self to stop.

"Everyone grieves differently. You have no right to try and force your way into my head and make me grieve in the way you believe I should. It's time for you to get off your "my dad died" horse and realize that I don't want your help. I don't want you here. I want you to leave. I don't need you here Bradley, I can do this on my own."

Bradley didn't move a muscle as he stared down at her. Waiting for her to somehow change her mind and beg for him to stay and comfort her. He wanted so badly to be there for her. He wanted his old Steely back.

"No," the word left his mouth quick and was punctuated by his body moving one step forward. He was going to show her that no matter what she said he wasn't leaving.

"No? seriously I just told you how much I want you leave, how much I need you to leave, and all you can say is no?"

Steely launched forward and started pounding his chest with her fists. She was now fully broken down and sobbing. She just want him to leave and he wouldn't. She needed to be alone to process her feelings. All Steely wanted to do was sit in her bed, drink her tequila, and watch a damn movie.

She started pushing him out of the room. His feet scrambled to hold his balance as Steely used all of her strength to physically kick him out of her house. "Go away Bradley, go away!" she was yelling the whole time. Her throat was raw from the screams as they inched closer towards the front door.

Suddenly, Ron came out of his room after hearing the commotion going on. He rushed quickly to pull Steely off of Bradley. Ron trapped her tightly in his arms as she screamed and fought him.

"Fuck you Bradley Bradshaw, you inconsiderate heartless, bastard! why are you doing this to me?"

Steely gave her dad one last squirm before she went limp. Her chin lulling down to rest against her dads arm. Sobs wracked through her body from head to toe.

Soon after Bradley started to cry. He didn't understand how to help her but it was breaking his heart to see her like this. He took a step forward and tried to touch her before Ron cut in.

"Son, I think it's time you head home. There's nothing you can do for her right now."

"But-I," his words were jumbled together as he stood trying to explain his thoughts.

"Go home Bradley," Ron adjusted Steely in his arms. "She'll come around soon you just have to give her time."

Bradley nodded while quietly turning around towards the door. He opened the door and stepped out onto the porch before turning around once more.

"I'm sorry Slider."

"There's nothing to be sorry about son, thank you for caring about my daughter. Soon enough she'll be thanking you too."

The door closed sharply behind him. Ron started helping Steely towards her bedroom. He got her into bed and tucked the blankets around her before kissing the top of her head.

"I can't do it dad, I miss him."

"I miss him too sweetheart but we will get through this together."

Ron gave her one more kiss before he left the room making sure to turn off the lights. Once the door was shut he stumbled towards his room. Loud sobs billowed out of his chest.

"I don't know how i'm going to help her Ice, I don't know how to go on without you."

He spoke into the room. His voice cracking at the outpouring of emotion. Ron finally broke down after seeing the state that Steely was in. He truly didn't know if she would ever get over their loss, he knew that he wouldn't.