The Search

Chapter 13

Jade

We ended up making gingerbread cookies and sugar cookies, we've finished and cleaned up so now we are just decorating.  We're eating them as well, we couldn't help ourselves.

Jackson holds up his gingerbread man, "I was going for Nonno." He held up a cookie that looked grumpy and old. 

I laugh but then stop with in absolute seriousness, although still joking, "hide it, hurry. They're too similar, it's scaring me." He puts it to the side laughing as Tucker starts to tell a story from homeschooling. 

When their laughs die down and they notice the time slipping away, Jackson smiles sadly at me.  "Thank you Aunt Jade, this has honestly been the best day ever."

I smile at him and kiss Ezra's forehead where he sits at my side, "you know I grew up like you guys.  Contained and controlled, until I ran away to live the life I wanted. It was hard but I was happy in Calgary." I shrug, "you guys can also choose."

Jackson looks down and nods, "But won't we end up right back in their clutches like you?" He asks innocently. 

I shrug, "possibly, but you'll live life while you wait, right?"

"You left when you were 14 right?" Tucker asks and I nod in response.  "Jackson is 21 and I'm 19, doesn't it seem a bit too late?"

I smile, "never too late to defy your parents and do whatever the hell you want with your life. Just saying." I stand up and turn on some Christmas music using Jackson's phone.

They all start helping me clean up and then we prance into the living room. Where the rest of the family happens to be standing awe struck looking at all the decorations. 

We stop and Jackson turns off the music on his phone gulping at his Nonnos reaction. James smirks flicking an ornament on the tree. He knows I'm going to be in trouble and now he's taunting.

My Father speaks up through gritted teeth, "my office now, Jade."

"Whatever you want to say I would like you to say it right here." I cross my arms leaning back against the backside of the couch.

"Jade." He warns, "you're going to embarrass yourself."

I shrug, "we're family no? I shouldn't be embarrassed in front of you guys."

"Fine." He starts, "you obviously went into my room and without permission took your Mothers things to display all over the house without a second thought on who it would hurt."

"Who would it hurt Father?" My head tilts to the side slightly, "the kids who have always wanted a Christmas, hm? Or perhaps your Sons who grew up with it and it was suddenly taken away from them."

"You ran away, and after your mother died no one could keep up with it. Don't bring it back if it just brings saddened memories." He explains.

"What's sad about the Christmas's we had? It was awesome!" I laugh throwing my arms up. "Stop being selfish because you missed your wife and daughter and grow a pair. Just because you are moping doesn't mean everyone else needs to as well."

I head towards the stairs and continuing, "god let them live their lives, I ran away so I could live mine. You're not the fucking king of the world." I finish on the last step up the stairs leaving them all in my wake.

——————

Later that night Alexander comes into my room as I sit by the window reading once again. He takes a seat on my bed and looks at his entwined hands.

"Thank you." He speaks up, "for what you did for the kids today, Jackson had a blast. I've never seen him happier." He smiles.

I nod leaning my head back on the cushioned wall. "You guys are so alike," I say, "he looks like you."

"At least he isn't dumb like me." Alexander says standing up and comes to sit down by my feet, "I was dumb to lose a great sister like you and I know everybody else feels that way too."

I give him a tight lipped smile and go back to my book, "I was dumb thinking I could trust you guys but we all make mistakes I guess."

Alexander nods and looks down at my book, "you still read huh?"

I nod, not responding but he doesn't mind and keeps going. "Pure smut books when you were at the age of 14." My head shoots up and I look at him with wide eyes.

He smiles, "a year or so after you left I read them all, thinking I could connect to what you were thinking but wow, nope." He laughs and I can help but smile.

"I was in the mafia," I shrug, "I thought it was fitting to at least have some dreams. Like a mafia romance story."

"I read some of them." He laughs and stands up going over to the shelf full of them, "darkest temptation was an interesting one."

Before he can say anything else he bends over, his shoulders shaking as he laughs. I throw a pencil at him trying to hide my laugh. But I couldn't do much about it.

"I was young and a hopeless romantic." I explain and he wiped tears away from his eyes.

He shakes his head in amusement, "of course, well enjoy sister. I'll see you tomorrow morning." He comes to my side and kisses my forehead bringing me back to reality where he had hurt me before.

I sigh as he leaves and I look out the dark window thinking of my kids as Christmas Day approaches.