The Search

Chapter 32.

Jade

Day 14, Evening

Lexi tries to push away the medicine as soon as I get close with it.  "It will help baby," I soothe pushing it forward but she releases a scream.  Nikolai hugs her arms to his chest and when she releases a cry I pop the spoon of medicine in. 

She tries to squirm away but Nikolai holds tight as she cringes swallowing it.  I immediately hold her sippy cup up to her mouth so she can have some water to wash the taste down.  She immediately takes it inhaling basically the whole thing.

"Okay little missy." Nikolai tiredly laughs, "let's slow down."

I sit down and lay my head down on my arms.  This evening she had a fever and I thought some sleep would help.  She ended up waking up at 3:00 am with symptoms of a bad cold.

Now here we are in the kitchen trying not to wake the rest of the house up.  My sick baby closes her eyes turning her head into Nikolai's stomach sniffling.

I tiredly rub my eyes and Nikolai leans forward to kiss my forehead.  "How about you get some sleep and I'll be on baby duty tonight." I shake my head no but he drags me standing up anyway. 

He brings me to the bedroom but just as he's about to lay her in the crib she's awake crying and clutching onto him. 

A knock at the door sounds and just as I'm about to open it Nikolai beats me there giving me a look to lay down. 

Hudson and Chris are standing at the door, Hudson aims his question at me. "How's she doing?"

Nikolai responds for me as my eyes close. 

——————-

Hudson

My baby sister is asleep before she can answer the question and Nikolai begins, "Lexi is tired but sick, we're just tired." He laughs.

Chris leans forward close to Lexi, "how about you guys get some rest and we'll take care of her for the rest of the night? You guys both work tomorrow." He moves some hair out of her face for her. 

Nikolai thinks for a moment, obviously unsure and that's okay.  It's understandable he might be a bit suspicious.  But I would never hurt my baby niece. 

I reach forward supplying a little eyebrow raise for permission. He leans forward putting her in my arms and softens at the sight of her small body cocooned. I tuck her blanket closer to her making sure her bare feet are under too.

Nikolai mouths a small thank you and closes the door leaving Chris and I to head back to our room.

At the sight of the bed Lexi leans forward pushing her face into the sheets. I let her body softly go and she gets up on her knees using her tiny fists.

She crawls forward and once she's by Chris she leans forward on her stomach sprawling into a comfortable smushed up position. She starts to whine sniffling again but Chris only smiles and pats her bum softly.

She's full on blabbering after, crocodile tears fill her eyes like she's trying to tell us a very sad story. "What happened after that?" I ask laying down next to her. I give her small reactions here and there as she goes on. 

Eventually her own crying and talking puts her to sleep and Chris looks up at me whispering, "I want to bring up the topic of adoption again."

"Chris." I sigh, "I don't know-"

"You promised that we could eventually circle around to the idea again, I want it to be now." He frowns at my unknown face. "What do you have against it so much-"

"Nothing." I say sharply, a bit too sharp making him sigh and turn onto his back. "I don't know why I'm unsure baby." I lean over putting my hand behind his neck so I can pull him a bit closer.

"Then find a way to be sure." He commands pulling away and moves my hand away from him. Yeah that stung a bit.

—————

Two hours later Lexi is up again crying with a huge fever. I take her to the bathroom and grab a nice and cold towel and gently lay it across her little forehead which calms her down a bit. She grabs at it hiccuping and tries to catch her breath.

It's almost like she's overloading herself. I put her down on the counter while I stand in front of her.  I grab her cheeks softly blowing a bit of cool air onto her face. She cringes slightly when I first begin but then her breathing begins to calm down.

She tries to blow air at my face making me laugh, which she finds funny and begins to giggle.

I want a kid, I want that with Chris. I want to wake up with them at night like I am with Lexi. But I don't know what's holding me back.

I want to work as a team and raise these amazing kids like my brothers and Jade have done. Why am I keeping that away from Chris?

I pick Lexi up again and lay her down in the crook my elbow. She grabs my shirt softly playing with the fabrics, sniffling. She keeps trying to sniff and clog her nose full again.

I grab the cloth again, softly cleaning up under her nose and getting as much out as I can.

She tries to turn away numerous amounts of times. "Alright bambina." I say stopping finally. I head back into the bedroom but this time when I lay down I keep her on my chest, with her forehead by my collar bone so she feels the coolness of my skin.

She cuddles in and falls asleep while I stay awake thinking and watching.