The Search

Chapter 33.

Jade

Day 15, Morning

"Your good with her." I say stepping into the living room where Hudson and Lexi are watching cartoons and playing.

Lexi stands and toddles over to me hugging my legs with a light sniffle.  I missed my baby and all but I loved that sleep. 

Hudson smiles and begins to pick up some of her toys littered everywhere.  "I actually wanted to talk to you about something." He sighs sitting back down.  He pats the couch signalling me to go over. 

Lexi follows me and takes out all of the toys Hudson just put back.  I sit down and Hudson begins, "last night I was thinking about a few things, mostly because Chris brought up adoption."

I nod in excitement for him, except that's not really what emotion he was passing on. "I've always told him the time isn't right or I even told him I wasn't comfortable talking about it. Those are complete bullshit answers because there's nothing more that I want then to raise kids with Chris."

"Then what's stopping you?" I ask grabbing Lexis hand softly so she will stop shaking the giraffe rattle toy aggressively.

"I guess that's what I realized last night, and what I came to terms with, I'm scared about bringing the kids into my lifestyle." Tears gather in his eyes and I can't help but follow, "I thought about you, I was worried that my kids would go through the same things you did.  If it's a girl the last thing I want her to feel is trapped.

"I'm so sorry that we treated you that way Jade, I'm so sorry we were these asshole older brothers and I'm going to do everything in my power to change that."

I smile and grab his hand giving it a light squeeze, he goes on, "it came to me that Ive kept Chris and I away from what we really want."

I shrug, "maybe but there is always time to go after the things you love.  As much as I hated leaving you guys, I'm so happy I did because I love my kids and Nikolai more than ever."

He pulls me into a hug and kisses my forehead, "I'm sorry, I love you."

"I love you too." I smile and grab Lexi who wants a hug as well. Three down, two more to go.

——————

Evening

My little Lexi has a great amount of attitude, she's much like Alex was at that age where they think they know everything.

So when my Father tells her to be carful with the controller she rolls her eyes. I cringe about to grab her and maybe try giving her a talking to but my Father grabs her looking seriously at her.

When I was that age or even older I got a scolding, a timeout, and a talk about my "attitude."

I'm worried that's about to happen now because my Father isn't nice about it, at all. 

But Papa just tickles under her chin, "did you just roll your eyes at me missy."

She does it again giggling and places the controller done on the table to pay attention to her Nonno. I think she has a new favourite person in the family. 

He picks her up and begins to blow raspberries into her cute little chubby stomach. Her giggles are like music to my ears.

She screeches, "Mama! Mama! Sab Lexi!" She tries to squirm away.

"I'm coming baby! Mommy to the rescue," I laugh standing up and head over to 'sab' her.

But Papa scoops me down beside him and starts poking my sides with the hand that isn't holding Lexi. I throw my head back laughing in the midst of trying to slap his hand away.

I'm scooped up and off the couch in the hands of Nikolai who's smiling curiously. "Now as much as I do find this adorable. We have a bit of a problem."

My Father senses the environment has turned quite serious and stands with Lexi in his arms. "What is it?"

"There was an attack on your home back in Italy. Your Brother was injured in the crossfire, I'm sorry Alessio."