The Stone Wall and His Weakness [A.H.]

XXXV

December 2016

My sweetheart,

How are you? How's Jack? I hope things are better for you than they are here.

I'm struggling to get my thoughts into a comprehensive order, so I apologize if this is all over the place...

Spencer was arrested, in Mexico of all places, for murder and drug possession. We're still trying to figure out what happened, since the authorities down there are being anything but helpful, and Spencer has some sort of short-term memory loss from being drugged. JJ and Emily nearly lost it when they found out, because of Tobias Hankel ten years ago.

Anyway, they charged him with drug possession with intent to sell. He had heroin and cocaine in a stolen car he was driving, if you can believe that. And the lady that was murdered, she went by Dr. Rosa, but her real name was Nadie Ramos. Her body was found in the same motel that he was staying in, and he was in contact with her. The evidence is piled against him...

The Mexican authorities had no problem arresting him, and did their damndest to keep him there, but since she had dual-citizenship, we got him transferred to a local Federal jail. Unfortunately, the system is against him, and transferred him to a prison, without protective custody. He's barely surviving, Aaron. Prison is no place for a federal agent, especially one as brilliant as Spencer. I'm scared for him.

The only reason he was even in Mexico was to get medicine for his mom. Apparently her schizophrenia and Alzheimer's are getting worse, and her other medications weren't working. He said the experimental drug was working, but he had a complete disregard for this team, his family, when he repeatedly traveled to Mexico. He didn't inform the Bureau of his movements, but worse, he didn't tell any of us.

We've been working the case around the clock, on top of our regular cases, trying to figure it out. And before you think about it, Peter Lewis hasn't left our focus. We're pretty sure he's the one behind this. What better way to hit the team than to take away another one of our agents?

Everyone's taking this hard, especially Penelope and JJ. JJ has been looking after his mom, and Penelope is making sure we're staying focused on helping him. Emily got him a lawyer, since the Bureau can't or won't help. She's good, this lawyer, and it seems like Spencer is working with her. He turned down plea deals, since he's not guilty and won't admit to a crime he didn't do. I wish I could blame him, but I respect his decision.

I'm stuck. I'm stuck, confused, scared, and angry. I don't know what to do to help him. For every step forward, we take two back. It feels like a losing battle.

I wish you were here, Aaron. You'd be able to get him out and set everything straight.

Lex

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December 2016

My sweetheart,

I'm sorry. With everything going on, I didn't think to update you.

I'm officially almost through my third month, meaning my first trimester is nearly over. According to the doctors, that means my risk of miscarriage will decline significantly. So far, the baby is looking healthy. I scheduled the anatomy appointment-- two weeks from now. I still can't believe I'm doing this without you...

I'm doing good. I'm not showing yet, but I can feel the baby. It's hard to explain; they say I won't feel movement for another month or so, but I know the baby is there. It's like my body and mind are hyperaware of it growing. It's been a lot of work keeping myself healthy, though. I never realized how much of my life would have to change. What I eat, what I drink, what skin care products I use, I had to reconsider it all.

I started a baby registry. I kept putting it off, I think some part of me knew that it means I have to start to move on from the life I expected, the life we started to build. Sav and Derek have given me a lot of Hank Spencer's old stuff. Bottles, blankets, bouncers, toys. They helped guide me on what to add to the registry and what not to add, stuff I'd never use. I'm not sure I can ever repay them.

JJ and Will have been a godsend too. Though they didn't have much to give me, since Michael and Henry are both grown. That's okay, I don't really need things, their support has been more than I could ever ask for. David, too. If he's not inviting me over to cook me food, then he's here cooking enough to keep the fridge stocked. I keep telling him it's not necessary, I don't like having to waste anything when we're called away on a case, so I started taking stuff down to some of the homeless encampments downtown. I know what you're thinking, "you need to be careful", and I am. Promise.

Anyway, I hope you're okay. I haven't stopped thinking about you and Jack, but the ache in my chest is slowly easing. I like to think he's still playing soccer, and he's getting good grades. He's such a smart kid when he applies himself. And you... You wouldn't dare get a job, so I wonder how being a stay-at-home-dad is going? Are you going stir-crazy yet?

My hand is starting to cramp, so I guess that's all. I miss you. I love you.

Lex.