Poems for Clara

Panimula

2021, November, Winter
San Francisco, California

"Hi I'm Nicolas De Leon, 35 years old. I'm currently living here in Cali for about 3 years now."

Diba ganito yung introhan sa ilang mga wattpad stories. Ganto yung ibang nababasa ko e. Natawa nalang ako sa sarili ko. Oo, nagbabasa parin ako ng wattpad kahit I'm in my 30's. Wala namang age limit ang pagbasa neto diba?

Andito ako ngayon sa room ko, nagppractice ng sasabihin ko mamaya sa interview or whatsoever.

I have this friend named Adie and he asked me a favor kung pwede daw bang gawan ng cover ang buhay ko. He's a vlogger-- ata? I'm not really sure kung anong tawag sa ginagawa nya. Pero di pa sya star vlogger. He gets atleast 50 views per video na pinopost nya. Yan na yung pinakamaraming views, ha. Ewan ko ba dito bat gustong-gusto nya mag interview ng mga tao tapos ikkwento yung mga buhay nila kahit oonti lang ang nanonood.

I agreed naman since we've been friends since elementary. Since doon pa kami sa Bicol nakatira magkaibigan na kami kaya pano naman ako makatanggi. He promised naman na wala daw naughty questions kaya okay na yun.

"Nic?" tawag sakin ni Adie as he opened the door.

"Oh, Adie" I responded.

"Ready? I'm done setting everything" he said and I got up from the swivel chair and got my coat on the rack and went out with him.

"Okay dude so just think of this as a casual conversation between the two of us. Yung parang usual lang na conversation natin pare" he said while we walk to the living room. Malawak etong living room ko with just black and glass designs. Ayoko kase sa masyadong madaming abubot sa living room.

I sat on my black leather couch dito sa living room. Yes, kailangan detailed para dama. Adie sat on the opposite side of mine.

.... few minutes later ...

"Good day, introduce yourself" panimula ni Adie.

"Hi I'm Nicolas De Leon, 35 years old. I'm currently living here in Cali for about 3 years now. I had actually lived in Paris for 10 years before coming here in Cali"

"What do you do here in California?"

"Uh... I actually run a company here. It's my father's actually, I'm just managing it for the meantime kasi my father took a vacation in the Philippines with my mom"

"Kailan yung huling visit mo doon?"

"Saan? Oh, sa Pilipinas? Uh... let me think, I guess... it's been so long. Matagal na. Matagal na akong hindi nakakabisita doon, I can't even remember kung kailan yung huli kong uwi doon"

Honestly, I know when.

'January 1, 2007. We were both 20'

It's January 1, 2007. Hindi na ako bumalik sa Pilipinas mula noong gabing iyon. I just don't want to talk about it.

"Please, Clara." pagmamakaawa ko, kneeling on the ground and hugging her thighs.

"Please Nic, let me go. I can't hold on much longer." she pleaded as she kneel down too and tears falls down from her eyes.

"Fight for us. I fought hard enough for us. Don't let go of my hand or else I'll die" desperado na talaga ako. She's my everything. I can't let go of her that easily.

"It's over, Nic. Kahit lumaban tayo wala rin. Nic." she held my face. "Look at me" she said but I can't. She faced me but I can't look at her eyes. "Nic please look at me" this time I did. I did looked at those eyes.

___________________________________

'Mga matang animo'y nangungusap,
mga matang nakalulunod,
at ako'y di na nga nakaahon pa.'
_