The Time Traveling Crime Fighters

Mr. DeSal Becomes the Russian Ambassador to Canada

We finally made it to eastern Russia. We were in St. Petersburg, which was currently a very important city. We got out of the train and looked around.

"Holy Cheesecake!" Miep yelled when she saw what was here.

Mr. DeSal summed it up: "It seems time wasn't nice to this place."

"Wow..." I said, "I never knew time could do something like this..."

Time changed the city... so it didn't exist.

"What now?" Ellen said, staring at the flat landscape.

"I don't- Hey! Look over there!" Jordan got excited.

"What is it, Jordan?" Miep said.

"There is a small shack!"

She began to run in an obscure direction with the rest of us following right behind.

Time skip brought to you by gasoline. I am in a moving vehicle (but not driving) as I write this!

"Jordan..." Mr. DeSal stuttered, "we- we've been... uh... been running for... an... an hour. Y-you can't... possibly... see that far."

"Yeah? Then what is this?" she said back.

It was a building. With a motorcycle. And an old sleeping Russian guy.

"I'll talk to him," Mr. DeSal said.

He walked over and tapped the Russian on the shoulder.

"Отойдите, вы кальмара моря, или я накажу тебя жестко!" the man screamed as he woke up.

"Whoa, dude, calm down. Do you speak English?" Mr. DeSal said to the panicked man.

"Что? Я не понимаю. Я не говорю по-итальянски."

"Of course you don't. Нам нужен способ, чтобы добраться до Америки. Знаете ли вы, любого возможного вида транспорта?"

"У меня есть мотоцикл, но только один мест."

"Из Каус он делает. Мы по-прежнему принимать его в любом случае."

"Это будет пятьдесят центов."

Mr. DeSal handed the man fifty cents and looked back at us.

"You know Russian?" Jordan was said, befuddled.

"Yeah. Don't you?"

"Of course I do, Norman. I also speak to butterflies."

"Hey, it's Mr. DeSal to you. And don't try to get sarcastic with me young lady. Anyway, only one of us can continue on."

"But what about the rest of us?" asked Ellen.

"Whoever goes can come back with a time machine."

"Sounds legit," Jordan said, nodding awkwardly.

"So who will go?" I asked.

"I think it should be Miep," Mr. DeSal said.

"No. I will not go. I cannot drive anything that is not a time machine or a bicycle," Miep said.

"Really? I thought you were cooler," Jordan said.

"Shut up, Jordan!" Ellen looked at her.

"Why?"

"Are you really asking that question?"

"It appears."

"Never mind. Continue."

Miep came to a conclusion: "Well, since Ellen, Jordan, Matt, and I can't drive a motorcycle-"

"Wait!" Jordan interrupted, "Who says I can't ride a motorcycle?"

"You can ride a motorcycle?"

"No."

"Then why would you- never mind. Now where was I? Oh. Yes. Because none of us can ride a motorcycle, except you, Norman, you should go."

"Me?" Mr. DeSal asked, "But, what would I do?"

"How should I-" Miep began.

"OH!!! I KNOW!!!" Jordan interrupted again (typical), "You should become the Russian ambassador to Canada!!!"

"Jordan," Ellen said, "Really? Please tell me somebody has a better idea."

"Don't you like my idea?"

"Well, it's fine, but I don't think it's very well thought out."

"You know, Ellen, you are very mean."

"So... nobody has a better idea?"

"I think it's fine," Mr. DeSal took Jordan's side.

"Then it's settled," Miep said, "Norman will become the Russian ambassador to Canada."

"And," I said, "once he is there, he can figure out a way to get to Las Vegas, then come back and save us!"

"Yes! That sounds brilliant!" Mr. DeSal declared.

"What?!?!" Ellen yelled, "Are you all crazy?!?! This will never work!!!"

"Oh, calm down, Ellen, you're just jealous that I had such an amazing idea and you didn't!" Jordan boasted.

"Don't you know how hard it must be to become the Russian ambassador to Canada?!?! Besides, this isn't even Russia! This is the USSR!!!"

"Should I buy the motorcycle now?" Mr. DeSal asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yep," Miep said, "Just leave."

"But I'm not done here!" Ellen was screaming now, "I FORBID YOU TO LEAVE!!!"

Mr. DeSal was purchasing the motorcycle now.

"Don't you give a single cent to that man!"

Miep was approaching Ellen now.

"I'm sorry," Miep murmured.

"For wha-" Miep put her hand on Ellen's back and pressed, causing her to fall to the ground in a peaceful sleep.

We looked back at Mr. DeSal, who was on on the motorcycle now.

"See you guys!" he said, and he drove off into the sunset as the rest of us waved goodbye.