The Time Traveling Crime Fighters

Mr. DeSal Goes to Canada

(Norman DeSal's Point of View)

I rode my motorcycle for a day before I found the Capitol of Russia. It was a fast motorcycle.

I rode up to the palace at the city's heart and knocked on the door. A second later, it was answered by a man.

"WELCOME!!!" he yelled, "Welcome to the glorious palace of the great Russian ruler! I assume you've seen the sign?"

"Uh, what sign?" I replied.

"The advertisement sign! We need an ambassador to Canada!"

"Oh! Uhhhh... yes?" (I really didn't see any sign.)

"Lovely! Your hired! You'll be on the next train to Portugal tomorrow! Once you're there, you will catch a boat to Canada!"

"Okay."

Time skip brought to you by Catbug because "SUGAR PEAS!!!"

And a week later, I was in Canada.

"Well," I said to myself, "that was suspiciously simple!"

Now that I was in Canada, all I had to do now was find a way to sneak into America without getting arrested by the Russian police and thrown in prison before getting the death penalty, possibly rendering the rest of the team hopeless without me and leaving the space-time continuum hopeless and ending everything forever, causing for nothing to exist or ever exist for the rest of time, which won't exist either. Obviously, the stakes didn't seem too high!

That's when my supervisor walked into my hotel room.

"Okay, Norman, today you will be traveling to the falls of Niagara down on the border between the Canada and the American states that are united," he said.

Wow. I thought to myself This just keeps getting easier and easier. Something bad is going to happen now.

"Alright now, Norm, let's get going!"

"Yes, Ростислав."

And we were off.

Time skip brought to you by the number 5. I don't know why, just trust me on this one.

Now that we were at the border, I just had to get away from Ростислав.

"Hey, uh, Ростислав?"

"Yes, Norman?"

"May I be excused?"

"Canada doesn't have any restrooms."

"What?"

"There are no restrooms in Canada."

"WHAT?!?! WHAT KIND OF COUNTRY DOESN'T HAVE RESTROOMS?!?!"

"Canada. But we can hop over to America if you want."

"Uhhhh..." I was dumbfounded.

"Norman...?"

No answer.

"Norman...?"

I couldn't speak.

"Hello? Earth to Norman? Are you there?"

"Y-yeah," I finally responded, "Let's go."

And with that, we began to walk towards America.

Time skip brought to you by idiots. Yes, idiots. I know they're idiots, but don't they deserve something...? No? Okay. Didn't think so.

This was it! We were walking across the border!!! Aaaaaaaannnnnnddddd... WE ARE ACROSS! Now I just have to find a way to get rid of Ростислав. But how?

Then I had an idea.

"Ростислав?" I said.

"Yes, Norman?"

"You are a very nice guy and all, so please forgive me for this."

"What do y-"

That's when I pinched his nerve, causing him to faint. I threw him over my shoulder and ran into the woods.

"Okay," I said to myself, "I have to find rope to keep Ростислав from getting away. And then I have to find a way to get to Las Vegas... perhaps a car...? Or a plane!!!"

Then I found a vine that was hanging from a tree. I pulled it down and tied Ростислав's arms and legs with it. Then I used a piece of torn cloth I happened to have as a gag.

Then I continued to run in what I think was south.

After about thirty seconds, I came out into a clearing. Sitting in the middle of the clearing was... a military base. That had planes.

Okay. Something REALLY bad was going to happen, but I decided to try my luck.

I walked up to the door and knocked. It was immediately answered by an official looking man in a uniform.

"Marjorie!" he exclaimed, "You've finally arrived to pick up your free plane that you won in the raffle! Come on in!"

I was a bit confused, but I decided to try my luck. So I followed him into the runway, dragging Ростислав's limp body with me.

"Well, Miss Humphrey, here we are your very own WWI Sopwith Camel! All yours! Why don't you give it a spin?"

"Do I have to come back?" I asked.

"No, no you do not, Miss Humphrey. You can go to Las Vegas if you want! Oh, and, by the way, why are you bald?"

"It's, uh, female pattern balding?"

"Very well, now just take your cousin'a limp body that you have there and hop into your Camel! Have fun now!"

"Yes, sir."

So I hopped into the plane with Ростислав's limp body and turned the plane on. I then proceeded to fly off towards Las Vegas. I needed a time machine to get back to Matt, Ellen, Jordan, and Miep. I hope they're okay.

Time skip brought to you by Sopwith Camels. Because Snoopy and Mr. DeSal are awesome!

Finally, after hours of flying, I was there in Las Vegas. I landed the Camel next to the Flamingo Hotel and ran in to the lobby. Flo was sitting on the floor playing Solitaire.

"Flo!" I screamed, "No time to explain! We need to take one of the time machines to Russia! Now!"

"Why? What's wrong? Are Matt, Miep, Ellen, and Jordan okay?"

"I hope! I'll just explain everything on the way. Let's go!"

We then proceeded to rush outside, hop in the remaining time machine (since the other one was obliterated in Japan. I almost forget about that) and fly away to Russia.