The Time Traveling Crime Fighters

Jordan Becomes a Tree

Ellen and Alexa laughed at me.

"Of course we're here! Are you blind?" Alexa remarked.

I waited a minute before I said, "Alexa, shut up."

"Stop your bickering," Mr. DeSal reprimanded us, " we are here to find Batman."

"Batman?" I replied.

"Wow. You know nothing," Ellen said.

"But, isn't Batman a fictional character?"

"No."

"I think I'm going insane."

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... Matt... you aren't going insane," she then looked to the side to see the queen chewing on a rock. "Elizabeth, rocks are not food."

"Hmm?" The queen replied, leaving the rock hanging from her lips.

"The. Rock."

The queen took the rock from her mouth and dropped it on the ground with a forlorn look on her face. "Sorry, Miss Ellen."

Ellen looked back at me and said, "Now, you may not be insane, but I wouldn't doubt that some people here are."

We couldn't help but share a laugh. But for some reason, it sounded like 3 people were laughing, so we stopped to listen.

Off in the distance, someone else really was laughing.

"Who's that?" I asked in a whisper.

"The Joker," Miep replied.

All of a sudden, a man in a dark suit came out of nowhere, scaring us all and causing Ellen to gasp and pass out.

"Moop! There you are! I have arrived!" the man said.

"Batman, my name is Miep, not Moop. Why can you not figure that out?" Miep said.

"Of course, Moop, of course."

Miep sighed as Batman walked up to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She looked up at him with a poisonous look in her eyes. Batman smiled back. Miep then reached down for her gun and pulled it from its holster and smacked Batman in the forehead with it. He fell to the ground with a shaken look in his eyes.

"Don't you ever try that again," Miep said, pointing the gun at him and cocking it.

"Of course not, my love," Batman replied. Miep just rolled her eyes and returned the gun to its place, totally not buying it.

"Matt," she said, "I need you to do me a favor."

"Yes, Miep?" I said.

"Take Jordan and find the Joker."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I need you to take him down. Tie him to a tree or something."

I had no idea how to reply. This was just all so random. I just looked at Jordan, who was sitting on the ground, and gave her a confused look. She stood up and walked toward me.

"Let's go?" she said.

"Sure?" I replied, uncertain, and we walked off into the woods.

Time skip brought to you by Into The Woods. 'Cause, you know, we're in the woods.

"Any idea where we are?" Jordan looked at me.

"Nope," I replied, "Any idea where we're going?"

"Absolutely not."

We've been walking for about an hour now, conversing quietly. We haven't heard nor seen a single sign of the Joker.

We turned a corner on the small forest path and, there he was. Just standing there, facing away from us and smoking a cigar.

I tapped Jordan on the shoulder and signaled to her that we would sneak up behind him and tie him to a tree with the rope Miep gave us. She nodded and I hoped she understood. With Jordan, you could get anything.

We began to walk toward him, slowly, our footsteps nothing but a whisper. All of a sudden, crack! Jordan did the most idiotic thing possible. She stepped on a twig. I dove to the side as our target turned around. The fiend and my friend locked eyes, and Jordan, being the awkward person that she is, just stuck her arms in the air, squeezed her eyes shut, and screamed, "I'M A TREE!!!!"

I quietly slapped my palm to my forehead. Of course she would do that. Why, Jordan? Why?

The Joker hesitated for a second before cackling and calmly walking toward her with a knife. I had no idea what to do. He was a yard away from her now. He lifted the knife. I jumped out of the underbrush and tackled him to the ground. The knife exploded, sending red goo all over Jordan's left side, staining the left half of her blonde hair, teal sweater, denim jeans, face, and hand an odd, pinkish color.

I didn't hesitate to wrap the rope around our enemy's ankles and wrists before fastening the other end to a tree. (Keep in mind that Jordan was NOT the tree.)

"Jordan, you can open your eyes now," I panted.

She opened her eyes to see the stains. "What the pineapple is this cheesecake?!?!" she screamed.

"No idea."

"Well, get it off me ya' jack wagon!"

"Can't. It's a stain."

She grunted angrily in reply before walking over to the Joker and kicking him in the face, producing a grunt from the fiend. I laughed and told her we better get back to the mini van.

"Fine. But I better get a sandwich after this!" she said, aggravated. And we were on our way.