Easy To Love | LapiDot (Human AU)

VII

Peridot's POV

I try my best to approach Lapis gently, not wanting to startle her. 

"...Lapis...?" I ask quietly, coming up to the side of the couch she sits on. She remains quiet for a little while, though she lifts her head from her hands and stares off into the distance in front of her.

Finally, she sighs and speaks up. "I'm sorry," she apologizes plainly, bringing up many emotions in myself. I slowly walk around and take a seat next to her on the couch, looking over at her worriedly while her gaze remains unmoved.

"What are you apologizing for...? I just want to make sure you're okay," attempting to reassure her, though I don't really have any idea what I'm doing. 

"I never wanted you to have to see me like this..." While she's still not looking at me, her eyes drift down to the floor beneath us.

"...But if this is the real you, then I want to have seen it. I want to know what's going on with you so I can help." 

She sighs and turns her head towards me. "Why? Why do you want to help?" She asks flatly.

"I-I want to help because I care about you, Lapis," I state hesitantly, meeting her gaze with my own as I do so. "And aside from that, you seem like you really need someone who wants to help." At that statement, she looks down again, her head remaining turned towards me. There's a moment of silence between us, and the tension weighs heavy on the room. 

"...Listen, if you don't want to talk that's okay. I'll get you some water," I say as I stand up from the couch and head towards the kitchen. Coming back shortly with a glass of water, I walk back to the couch to see Lapis staring down at her left arm with sadness in her eyes. I take my seat again and hand her the glass. 

"Thanks..." she mutters as she takes a sip, before setting the glass on the table in front of her. "I um, appreciate your help..." she says quietly, looking away from me.

"Of course, it's the least I can do," I smile. She looks back towards me slowly, meeting my gaze shortly before she looks down once again and asks something that surprises me. 

"C-Can I have a hug...?" 

"Of course you can." I scoot closer to her on the couch and gently wrap my arms around her, careful not to bump her wounds. My surprise doesn't end there, as she hugs back tightly and rests her head on my shoulder. My face grows warm at the gesture, and I smile softly. The two of us sit there, holding each other closely for a solid minute. We eventually break apart, and I immediately miss her warmth but don't protest because this isn't about me. Everything needs to be about Lapis right now. As we separate, I can't help but stare into her eyes. Beautiful blue pools that remind me of the ocean.  

I really wish I could kiss her right now...God, stop thinking like that. Especially right now, you weirdo...

"Peri?" Lapis' voice snaps me out of my thoughts. The combination of the nickname and our close proximity is driving me mad, and no doubt deepening the blush that sits on my face at the moment. I'm a fumbling mess right now, and it's the worst time for it. 

"Y-Yeah?" I take a generous amount of time with that one-worded response. 

"You okay?" she asks, still a few inches from myself, concern in her eyes as she stares into my own. I shake the thoughts out of my head and reassure the girl in front of me. 

"Yeah, sorry. How about you, though? Do you need anything?" Turning the conversation away from myself, I'm back to doing my best to help. 

"I'm alright, thank you," she says with a slight smile. I nod.

"We can set aside studying for the day...wanna head up to my room and watch something?" I suggest, not wanting to put any sort of pressure or stress on her right now. 

She giggles slightly before responding, "Sure, that sounds nice."

The two of us walk upstairs to my bedroom, and I'm keeping a close eye on Lapis the entire way to make sure she's alright. Once we reach the room, I invite her to sit on my bed as I turn on the TV and take my own seat beside her. 

"Sorry, my room is kind of a mess," I say as I scratch the back of my neck in embarrassment. Because, well, it is. A pile of dirty laundry lay on the floor towards the corner, rather than in its respective basket. Quite a few empty cans of Mountain Dew are scattered across various surfaces around the room. I watch Lapis' expression intently as she lets her eyes wander around my bedroom. 

"It's not that bad," she smiles, and I chuckle lightly in response. Turning my attention back to the TV, I settle on some lighthearted YouTube content before letting out a sigh and laying back on a pillow propped up against the wall behind the bed. 

~

Lapis and I continue to watch TV together, mostly in silence, with the occasional comment or laugh. It's been roughly an hour now, and she's sitting next to me hugging a pillow. Until she sets it down against the wall next to my own, opting to lie down instead. This isn't shocking on the surface of course, until she also decides to lay her head on my shoulder, her attention still seemingly focused on the TV.

Oh shit oh fuck. 

A familiar warmth finds its way to my face yet again, and I'm practically frozen in place. 

Lapis' POV

I don't know exactly what compelled me to do that, but it just felt natural in this moment. I pathetically longed for the warmth of the girl lying next to me, and it had finally become enough that I caved in to the urge. As I lay my head on Peridot's shoulder, I feel her body tense up slightly. I keep my attention on the TV in front of us, in an attempt to seem rather unbothered. That's of course not the case, though. Behind my blank stare, my mind is still racing with many intense and conflicting thoughts. The general consensus though, clearly shows itself to be that I am surprisingly okay with what's happening. I know it's more than likely, almost certain in fact, that I'll end up hating myself for this later. But for the time being, those thoughts are secondary to the safety I feel in her company. 

I figure I'm in too deep at this point anyway - she has had to bear witness to me in entire vulnerability today, and to my surprise, took it in kind. Didn't get upset or blame me as I've come to be so familiar with. Just accepted me in with open arms, and even cleaned me up. As my mind continues to wander, I look down at my arm. Each and every wound, even the smallest ones, had been attended to and cared for oh so gently. And while I was unconscious, at that. I've felt a similar feeling before, feeling comfortable enough with somebody to expose to them my vulnerabilities. But it's then that I realize something. Never had my openness been dealt with in such a way as it has been today. With such an equal display of genuineness, and a kind of generosity that came not from pity or obligation, but a simple sense of caring from the other person. Why this girl cares for me in such a way is something I may never understand, but I bask in it regardless. Even if I were to end up once again left alone to collect the pieces of my broken heart off the floor, I'm content to let such a person shatter my being from the inside out. In this moment I'm certain of one thing, I want her, and I want her close. 

Allowing myself to come back to reality, I notice that Peridot has released the tension previously held in her small frame, and draped her arm carefully around me in return. I look up at her face, beginning to ask in slight anxiety, "Is this okay?"

"Yeah. It is." She assures with not a hint of doubt in her tone. 

1404 words.