You Captured By Me

Chapter 25

Until now, It feels like you know me more than i know myself.

I pressed the end call button and
wiped my tears away as the traffic
light signal finally turned green.

After one year, I'm going to see you again, Lisa. I can finally hold your hand again. I'm able to kiss and hug you again.

I know we have said and agreed that we do not complete each other, but whenever I am with you, I feel less broken, and it's been so long since I've last felt that way. Lisa, I love you too much to confess this burden: that every single day without you was a constant, recurring moment of shattering.

As I walked towards the arrivals
section of the airport, I remember
an old memory of myself from a year ago, back when I was trying to stop you from leaving for Thailand when I know absolutely nothing about you. I remember how sore my feet were from running and how strangely my heart felt heavy when I wasn't able to find you. I remember feeling so stupid and naive at the hope of magically bumping into you amidst the thick crowd. Over a year later and here I am, realizing that that effort I have exerted on that day will always be something I will not regret.

This time, my feet walked with
confidence and wild anticipation.

My eyes scanned the crowd and it's
as if there was an invisible pull that
immediately drew my focus on you.
You haven't seen me yet, but I can see you now, and I had to stop walking and remain transfixed on the spot where I stood for a few seconds because my heart felt so overwhelmed with joy.

You are safe, you are healthy, you are here, Lisa. You've come back for me as you promised.

I ran.

My tears were faster than my feet
though, because before I've even
reached you, I was already crying.
When you wrapped me in your
arms, it felt like I was the one being
welcomed home. You embraced me
with such an astounding, almost
excruciating strength, but I didn't
care. This is all I ever wanted, Lisa: to just hold you again. To be yours and yours alone. I felt your body tremble and I hear the small sobs you're trying to choke down, and I see your pain in cyrstal-clear vision inside my mind.

"Jennie..." was all you can manage
to say in between your tears, and my
chest heaved with so much happiness at finally hearing you whisper my.name in my ear.

You know, I was supposed to reprimand to you all my pain. I want to tell you that I cried every night because I was worried about you, If you are safe, you are eating well, If you are taking care of yourself. I want to tell you that It was hard to wake up every morning and to sleep every night knowing that we are too far away from each other.

I really want to tell you everything
But I instantly forget all of it the moment I hug you.

Because the moment I held you, I
understood: You have suffered just as hard as I did, Lisa.

After what felt like an eternity, I looked into your eyes and wiped your tears away.

"Jennie, until now, you always wipe my tears first before wiping your own tears" you told me, smiling despite the flood of sorrow and gratitude from your eyes.

Our pain doesn't matter anymore, Lisa.
We can stop hurting now.

"Thank you for coming home to me,
Lisa."

You said you'll drive so I rode at the
passenger seat of my car and as we
made our way out of the airport and into the congested roads of the city, I did nothing but stare at you. We just savored each other's presence in silence and you kept your eyes ahead but you keep stealing glances at me whenever you can, and it felt just like the days when we were getting to know each other. You still make my heart flutter with your beautiful smile, Lisa.