I'll Love You For A Lifetime [Heartstopper, Tara x Darcy]

Year 11: Baby came home

Tara's pov

I looked down at my empty cup as I sat at the canteen table, alone.

"Hey!" a cheerful voice called out and I looked up at Elle beaming at me. I managed a little smile in return.

"What's up?" she asked, "you okay? Where's Darcy?"

I shrugged, "Dunno. Didn't come to school today I guess."

"Oh," she frowned, "is she well?"

I shook my head, "I don't know."

Elle pursed her lips and nodded.

I stared at my cup in silence for a while. Then I took a deep breath and decided that I needed to talk about Darcy with someone.

"Actually, I don't think Darcy is doing too good," I said, "I mean, we sort of fell out and I think I hurt her."

You think you hurt her? Who are you kidding?

Elle nodded sympathetically. "Was it a serious fight?"

"Yeah," I said, "Me and Darcy have this sort of...disagreement over something. We have very different views and experiences and I feel like, I feel like I am making it hard for Darcy."

Elle looked at me and I shook my head, "Sorry, I know I'm not making any sense-"

"No, I get it," Elle said, "me and my friends fight when we have different opinions too, but usually they are just misunderstandings."

I swallowed. But we are not friends.

"You know, I think fights are just projections of our insecurities," Elle mused, "I think it is better to talk stuff out, no matter how hard it is. It is much harder to lose someone you love."

I looked up at Elle, "Yeah, I do love her a lot. I don't want to lose her."

Elle smiled softly, "Friends since 7th year. I'm sure you have a much deeper connection than regular friendships."

My brain started buzzing. This moment is perfect. I could tell her that Darcy is my girlfriend.

But I didn't.

I simply nodded, "Thanks Elle, I'll go talk to her." I did it again. I chickened out from saying it out loud again.

"Happy to help," she said, taking a bite of her sandwich, blissfully unaware of the war in my head and my heart

***
Darcy's pov

I walked to my brother's room. I had locked myself up in my room since yesterday and was feeling particularly useless, so I decided to vent to him.

"Hey," I said, peeking from the edge of the door, "wassup?"

He jumped a little as if I had seen him doing something wrong. I caught him pulling his sleeve down as I walked in.

"What?" he asked.

"I needed to vent," I said, plopping down on his bed, "mind if I bother you for a bit?"

"Nah," he said, "something happened with Tara?"

"Yeah, we had a fight," I paused, "wait... what's that?"

I picked up a razor blade from his bedside table.

"Oh, it's nothing," he waved his hand, "just used it to cut some paper."

"Mmm, sure thing," I said, then proceeded cautiously, "mind showing me your wrist?"

All colour drained from his face, "Darcy, I told you I use-"

"Yeah, and I just want to check," I said, my determination unwavered.

He bit his lip then gave in. There was a fresh wound bleeding all over his arm. Gratefully, it was not very deep and I could quickly clean it up and put some bandage around it.

George was crying at this point, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I do this. I want it all to stop."

"Me too," I said, "but we got to keep moving ahead right?"

"I know," he said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"I know," I echoed from a deep hollow in my chest.

Then I went to the kitchen, pulled out a whole box of ice cream, went back to my room, huddled in a blanket, put on some random show, and cried. It makes sense why Vicky always does this, it is quite comforting.

Someone was at the door. I heard the doorbell go off and immediately went to the bathroom and washed my face.

"Hey," I heard my mother's voice, "Yeah, she's home. She has locked herself up since yesterday, I have no idea what is wrong with her. Yeah, see what you can do."

I crept back into bed and held my breath. Tara opened the door and peeked inside.

"Nice view you have here," she said dryly and I looked at my room. Simply put, it was a mess.

"Welcome," I said, "without any invitation."

"Do I need an invitation to meet you now?" she said, sitting down on a tiny corner that was not covered in my thick blanket.

"What do you want?" I said coldly, "I thought you wanted me to leave."

"Are you gonna tell me to leave as well?" she asked in a small voice.

No I am not, Tara. You are right, I am an obsessive little girl who is absolutely nothing without you.

"I might if you keep on being a prick," I said, digging into my ice cream.

She looked down at the floor. She took a deep breath, "I'm sorry," she said in one breath.

I raised my eyebrows.

"I am sorry," she repeated, pronouncing every syllable with emphasis this time.

I nodded, "Okay."

"I know I have said some very wrong things to you and-"

"I don't forgive you," I said.

She blinked blankly.

"I don't forgive you, Tara," I said, looking her square in the face.

"This is it then?" she said.

I pressed my lips together and said nothing.

Try once more Tara. Don't give up. I would never give up on you.

She nodded and then stood up. She walked up to the door and put her hand on the doorknob. I saw her back go up and down as her breaths got quicker. I heard her sniffle and in a second she was beside my bed, on her knees, her face buried in my blanket.

"I need you, Darcy," she said, her voice muffled, "what do I have to do to make you forgive me?"

I smiled sadly, raised my hand and patted her hair. She raised her head and looked up at me and I could not help but smile as she threw her arms around me.

"I'm sorry too," I said in a small voice, "it is not my place to tell you to come out."

She sniffled in my neck and pulled her arms tighter around me.

***
To those of you in which I choose to always be the closest to
Something that you need to know, loving me is not a joke
You can put it all on me, you can laugh and you can bleed
And I'll adopt it all because that's just what a buddy does

I loved you from minute one, the iced tea to my lemonade
Never one to hit-and-run, soaking every minute made
You can give me all your juice, I can squeeze it out for you
All I ask you in exchange, love me back through every phase

If it ever comes off wrong or leaves you with a bitter taste
Just remember you're the tea
And I'm your sour lemonade, I'm your sour lemonade
Tropical iced tea and hot pink lemonade

~baby came home 2/ valentines