hostage || l.t ✔️

seventy

guysss....no ones reading this but I'm trying so hard not to make this book discontinued, which is why i'm still  updating. I wrote these chapter seriously like last year in Novemeber, and they've just been sitting  in my drafts for the longest time. so if you see updates on this book, its cause im trying to get the chapters out. and they're gonna be shorter chapters so i can just finish this god damn book!!!

ok anyway..idk what this chapter is about.

Louis Tomlinson
I'm hating myself more than ever right now. I fucking hate myself. I regret that so much, and it now keeps me up at night. I hurt London, and she's back to being scared of me because she knows exactly what I'm capable of.

I hurt her.

And I've never felt more sorry in my life either. I don't know why I did that, I know she's small and petite, so why the fuck did I do that? I've never done that before, like..ever. I mean sure I get angry but something about it just made me do that.

It took me a while to figure out what this all meant and I want to tell London that it wasn't my fault. well, I did it but it was like there was something that just took over me. And I was going to fuck her after it but I heard her literally in pain so I left her for a second but now she's scared of me. It was never meant to be like that.

I was only meant to gently show her not to talk to me like that because I fucking hate when she says stuff like that. She told yesterday she doesn't want anything to do with me and I didn't go to work yesterday, I went out and got drunk and high, then waited for it to go away so I could come home.

That's when she told me she was gonna stay away from me and I agreed with her about it. What I did is fucked up and it scared her, and I regret it, I'm gonna keep saying it. I then spend the rest of the nights tossing and turning in bed so lost in why I would do something like that to her when all I wanna do it keep her safe.

I went to work today, leaving a note out, just saying I'm going to work because usually I'd miss her and tell her but she's bunked up in her room with Cherry so I had to accept it and leave the house.

I slowly drove to work, this car had so many good memories in it. I ignore my thoughts and walk into my work building tossing my cigarette before I walk inside. I walk down the hall and Sam smiles up at me.

"Hey Louis," she smiles and I smile back softly.

"Hey..who's in today?" I ask.

"Niall and Harry are here, Liam has to take his girl to an appointment, and Zayn's not coming in today," she says, as I sign in that I'm here.

"Why not?"

"Something to do with his girl,"

I instantly think of the worse, maybe Zayn found out we had sex without him knowing?

"Did he say why?"

"No," she shakes her head and I just nod.

"Thanks," I murmur and pad to the room where Niall and Harry were at the small round table we have. "Hey.."

"Tommo!" Niall greets with a grin and I smile softly.

"Hi.."

"Oh my god, I swear if you've got the after sex attitude I'm done for the day," Harry says and I shake my head.

"I'm not..I'm not having sex with London for a while.." I say in guilt and they both notice this, looking at me, I put my phone on the table, and sigh softly.