Other side Arohi Goenka

This is me

"You will never understand me, why am I like this? For you to understand me, you have to be in my shoes, but I will never let you know what all I went through...or be in my shoes, as I feel I am more than enough for me and I do not need your sympathy."

This has always been my life philosophy and this is my story. I do not let people inside my life because I know I would be hurt and to distance myself from others I end up getting rude and Arrogant but do I care about my image, I don't ."

"People expect me to react the same way as others do, if not, you are different, you are wrong you are egoistic If you do not meet their expectations, you are a failure, but who are these people, to decide who we are as individuals? I am different from others, forget that I am poles apart from my sister and I have no shame in owning it."

A slight sound of music lingered in my ears disturbing my sleep. I know for a fact now that it has been coming from my house downstairs, and I also know who it is...I let down a sigh ...and a smile came on my lip, surprising me. In schools, we learn we cry when we are hurt, but I am different.

I am so hurt that I feel like screaming my lungs out yet all that comes out is that one small fake smile like this one. First, I used this trick to convince my family members that I am fine but now I guess the trick is tricking me, into that I am happy, and a smirk appeared on my lips, making me wonder who was I tricking the whole time that I was happy and content my family or me?? I didn't know.

I had stopped sleeping peacefully for God knows when but do I pretend I get a peaceful sleep Yea....Do I act normal?? Yea.

Nobody I bet you nobody will know the storm that brews inside me, the pain I go through daily...another smile crept on my face making me hate it.

Enough I screamed and sat on my bed as if saying to myself to stop tricking me that I am happy...and threw my blanket across the bed in anger....Suddenly my door opened beta you are not coming down?? My grandmother asked me with loads of hope in her eyes. I love her, trust me when I say this, I love my family as anyone would do... But do they still?? Did they love me at any point in time?? I don't know... the thoughts kept occupying my head as I stare into her eyes blatantly back and nodded a lifeless yes.

They say a mother would know what the child is going through by reading her child's face...Maybe, that's why nobody in my family knew what kind of inner turmoil I am going through and since when because my father and mother are dead...

I slowly jumped down from the bed and moved to the bathroom I quickly took a shower and saw myself in the mirror...

Old self would have needed some BUCKLE UP YAAR!! BUCKLE UP!!!! Moment, but this version was tested so many times that she had the confidence and the willpower to face come what may. To the world, I am the most arrogant and rudest person ever, and I am completely fine with what the world thinks about me because when you are being judged in your own house and passed judgment by your friends the world around you passes judgment that doesn't matter to you.

At first, it hurts, but when gradually you get used to the judgments and the pain that comes with it, and there comes a point where you feel no pain when an incident strikes you, or you get so used to the pain that you don't feel it anymore...I don't know....

Whatever the people around me think of me. I am one thing sure of... I will get what I want in life by any means. I have never given up in life even if it means suffering all alone in life I have made a life for myself and I intend to gain no sympathy from others for anything that happens in my life no matter what. One thing I hate is getting my attention and ratting out my problem to others... Whether it is right or wrong I don't care I would like to solve my problems my way and I will always will...

"It takes guts to say I don't care because it is easy to not care if you don't love people.

To love and not care just only because you will get hurt one more time by the people you love takes guts, and I have it.

I don't know if life will make me a heroine or a villain, but even if it is a small role or a side character I will perform and live like no one is watching, and This is me Dr, Arohi GOENKA"

Before I could complete my Ted talk, I heard another knock on my door Hello Madam...!!!! I immediately adjusted my lehenga and got out of my room and opened the door of my room. How much time yaar aaru ??? My brother vansh was standing at the door.

A genuine smile crept on my face as I saw him.... I know I am different and I am ready to slay it.

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