[✔️]The Bad girl Or The Bestfriend?(Jenlisa)(Liskook)

Chapter Eighteen

Lust.

That's the first emotion that crosses his face when I look at him. His chest is heaving up and down, matching my erratic breathing as he looks into my eyes, trying to search for the same things I am searching in his. But, I am sure my tears stricken cheeks say a lot more than I want to.

Confusion.

That's the second emotion I detect as he rubs his thumb on my cheeks, wiping the tears and probably wondering why the hell am I crying in the first place.

Regret.

Fuck. That's the one that I was so afraid to see, but when I opened my eyes, I was ready to see regret on his face - but as I witness it, it seems like someone just punched me in the heart. I didn't know I was capable of feeling this much hurt, but this situation has surprised me to no ends.

Guilt.

Guilt for kissing me, guilt for giving me hope for something that's just not there. Guilt for doing wrong by Tzuyu. There's so much guilt in his eyes that it overwhelms me, so I immediately look away.

"You should leave." I manage to choke out as I slide off his lap.

He shakes his head as he tries to reach for me but I pull back, "Lily, please." He begs but I shake my head.

"It was a mistake, Kook." I whisper and he has the guts to look hurt at my words. Anger courses through me as I stare at him, but the pain is overwhelming everything.

"I am so sorry." He says.

"For what, Jungkook? For kissing me?" I ask and he grips the root of his hair by his hands, looking for the words to explain himself but I know he has none.

He acted on impulse. He shook his fucking head when I asked him if he had feelings for me, but then he went on to kiss me. I understand that he might be confused regarding his feelings - I get it! But we could have talked it out. No matter how much I say the kiss was a mistake, I am just as much at fault because I kissed him back.

I kissed him back with all my might, so why the hell am I pissed at him? I practically straddled his lap. Guilt and shame wash over me as I gulp, studying his face.

"I don't know why I did that." He whispers.

I nod, finally trying to understand, "It's okay Kook, you were confused and your girlfriend broke up with you regarding the matter. You wanted to know if she was right." I tell him back, my voice soft and calm.

He stares at me but his eyes say it all - what I just said, he completely agrees. So I offer him a small smile, "Let's just forget about this, alright?" I say.

"Is that what you want? To forget it?" He asks, and I take in a shaky breath, focusing my eyes on the wall behind him.

"I want what you want, Kook. And I know you don't want this to go anywhere further, so it wouldn't." I assure him, and he nods.

And his nod just breaks my heart further, because he really doesn't want this to go anywhere. When I was kissing him, all of my hope was reunited, begging me to believe the fact that he could give me a chance, that he could like me. But a nagging voice in my head told me to savour the most of the kiss, because I wouldn't be getting any more opportunities in the future.

"I am sorry, Lili." He says.

"Don't worry about it, Kook. Best friends, remember?" I say and he nods. "Although you should leave now. I don't want to make this awkward." I tell him.

"I understand." He says before getting up, taking his phone from the side table and leaving the bedroom.

As soon as I hear the front door shut, I look over at the window to see that it's locked. That's when I crumble down, my hands coming up to the swollen lips which are a reminder of what just happened minutes ago. While the thought of the kiss flutters my stomach, it makes my heart feel like it just died. Maybe, it did.