Spectrum of Colors

Chapter 4: Sweet Sickness. Sick Day-te

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It was already Sunday, they had agreed to meet in Yoongi's apartment as Hoseok had never been inside. And Yoongi told him over the week he had finally finished unpacking his stuff, and arranging his new apartment. 

Yoongi had bought the furniture on line, and they had delivered them to him the same day he had moved, he had done it in that way as he could read on the store page on line, what color, size and stuff was that item so he didn't needed to go asking though the store which color it was each thing. 

Now here almost everybody would ask why he cared about the color, if clearly he couldn't see it. But he knew even though he could see his own furniture and home decoration colors, he wanted it to be pretty and organized for when he invited his family, his small brother, or even his future friends and boyfriend. 

And now he was glad he did. That week he had met the most handsome man ever, and he now had a special friend to invite, and probably a future boyfriend. So even though he couldn't see the colors Hoseok would see them for him. 

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That day Yoongi had woken up even earlier, he usually would sleep until late as he worked from home, and his editor wasn't strict about it, she just cared about the manuscript and the stories, and his writer's health and mental state, so he could continue creating. 

But that Sunday it was a special day, it was the day he would have his first official date. And it was with his love at first sight neighbor, he had a crush on. 

So he ran to have a quick shower, when he went out, he just dressed himself on his undies and like that he ran through his apartment cleaning, making his bed, and folding the recently washed clothes and dirty dishes, he make sure to throw the pizza cardboard boxes into the trash, and to eliminate every trace of his fast food unhealthy meals. 

He finally returned to his bedroom to dress but he stopped, he had gone by one of his hall mirrors and with disgust, he looked at his body. He was all flabby, he looked how pale his skin looked, and how his belly and chest looked all round and chubby, his arms were slightly chubby too and his cheeks seemed to be made out of bread or dumplings. 

He pouted sad, he couldn't believe how easy it had been to lose his confidence and feelings of sexiness and flirting. No, he regretted having a crush on the most perfectly muscled and healthy guy. He now felt like trash beside him. 

He placed his cold hands against his tummy skin shivering slightly and feeling his skin covered in goosebumps, he traced the roundness, squishing his  back and side body rolls, his love handles were soft and squishy as jelly, and his tummy was rounder than some months ago, he touched his buffy chest, and suddenly he felt the most unattractive ugly thing of the world, he felt ugly and broken as he was also defective, being visually impaired because of his color blindness. 

A small tear came rolling down one of his small eyes, it rolled all the way to one of his bread cheeks, and it ended up inside his mouth tasting salty as tears were supposed to taste. 

He went back to his room, he sat on bed, and he didn't feel like going outside with Hoseok anymore, he now realized it was more difficult than he had expected. Even if Hoseok was his boyfriend, he realized he had some deep scars in his mind and traumas that made him feel bad about himself, and that probably Hoseok would end up not wanting him because of how traumatized and defective he was.  

He took his phone in his hands and sent Hoseok a message. 

Jung Hoseok,
Handsome, sexy,
almost boyfriend.