Spectrum of Colors

Chapter 11: Post-traumatic stress episode. Anxiety attack and dysphoria.

Hoseok and Yoongi remained all day in bed. Hoseok found out he still felt a little weak and anxious. The last day had been awful at work, he had never fainted before.

They ate while watching a movie. Yoongi had chosen a movie he loved so much, it was in black and white. Hoseok couldn't understand what it meant, so he watched it attentively and after a while even though it didn't have colors, he could enjoy it. He was eating too much as he was distracted, his cheeks filled like a squirrel.

Meanwhile Yoongi ate a little lately. He was eating just to survive and not because he enjoyed food. As he couldn't see the colors. He didn't see why food could look so appetizing for people, for him it was just normal. And he was trying not to feel comfort from it to stop eating so much.

He was enjoying the movie knowing that for the first time Hoseok and him were watching the same monochromatic world.

He was lying on the couch reclined, and Hoseok had his back on him using him as a backrest, as he was slender he was between Yoongi's legs. Yoongi had his hands crossed over Hoseok's chest hugging him. He had placed them inside his crop top. He was caressing the scars.

"What is it, kitten?" Hoseok was concerned, he noticed Yoongi's breath change, so he turned to look at his face just to see Yoongi had small tears in the corners of his eyes.

"Nothing, my baby Seok-Seok," Yoongi told him. "I just feel sad knowing you had suffered in life, I wish I could have been there to take the pain away" Yoongi said emotionally.

Hoseok's heart broke, he knew Yoongi cried because probably he himself had had so much pain and suffering that he had said that out of self experience. He couldn't told him the same so he felt sad too.

"But, dumpling, you already took my pain away since I met you, everyday, the 24 hours of the day, 7 days a week, the whole 30 days a month, we've been together" Hoseok said.

Yoongi didn't know about Hoseok's scars on his arms, and wrists. He too was planning to tell Yoongi when he was ready, but for now knowing that Yoongi had accepted him the way he was made him feel so happy. He felt how dear and precious the hands at his chest were. The love and understanding with which those two precious big cold hands were tracing his scars. It was beyond anything he had dreamed about.

Hoseok felt Yoongi was pure and special, different from anyone he had met before. He felt so good in his arms.

When the movie ended they had taken a shower. Hoseok this time asked Yoongi if they could sleep in his apartment, he wanted to smell Yoongi's scent from the apartment.

They went there. Hoseok took out his clothes. The night was warmer each day, Summer beginning. Hoseok stood just in his regular male underwear and he no longer had anything to hide under his clothes.

Yoongi wanted to do the same but beside Hoseok's perfect body he felt a balloon. He felt all ugly.

Hoseok noticed how doubtful Yoongi was, he noticed his expression. "You know why I told you, you are my dumpling? Because your cheeks are pretty and cute, soft and fluffy like dumplings." Hoseok said to him.

Yoongi blushed. "Then why do you call me all the other names?" He was curious, feeling better already.

"I call you donut because your little belly reminds me of a sugar donut, both are soft and white, and both have little belly buttons," Hoseok said, chuckling.

Yoongi's cheeks were red. "That doesn't make any sense," he said, embarrassed.

"It does, pastries, and sweets are fluffy and sweet, and your body is all fluffy, pretty and sweet!" Hoseok said excitedly. "Last question Hyungie, what do all those pastries and you have in common?"