Mr and Mrs Zzz flicked through the sales brochure, the animated holograms reflected in their compound eyes.
"It's a real fixer-upper," the estate agent declared, its electronic voice perfectly replicating the buzzes and clicks of its clients. "I won't lie to you about that. The previous tenants didn't pay much attention to the property until it was too late."
Mrs Zzz raised all three of her ocular ridges. "So I see," she muttered, pausing at an image of ruined buildings beneath an oxygen-blue sky.
"But just think of the opportunities you have to make the place your own," the agent continued. "You could completely reset the ecosystem - put in whatever you wanted."
"Really?" Mr Zzz's vibrissae suddenly stood erect: a sure sign of his growing interest. "Just think, darling. You could have that mycena forest you always fancied."
Mrs Zzz sniffed."Rebooting a carbon cycle isn't easy. You know that if you don't get it right, then you run the risk of a full ecological collapse. We'd have to get in licensed contractors, and those are expensive."
"But we'd have e room to grow! Just think. If we were to put the hive here - ," Mr Zzz opened the brochure at its centre spread and pointed to the middle of a continental land mass, " - the juvenile instars would have access to all these migration routes."
Mrs Zzz turned her attention back to the estate agent. "And what about these atmospheric assays? Have you looked at them? The carbon-14 and transuranic element traces are unbelievable! The previous occupiers must have used nuclear weapons or been careless with their fission plants."
"It's all in the brochure," the agent replied, lowering its sensor turret in an attempt to avoid Mrs Zzz's gaze.
"Yes. I can read. It says here it was a Class Four society. Sentients like that have no sense of responsibility. What other pollutants could there be there? What if there were mutagens? Biohazards?" Mrs Zzz folded all four of her manipulatory appendages. "We'd have to take the planet right down to the bedrock. Sterilise it."
Mr Zzz looked at his queen. He was not going to win this argument. He turned back to the estate agent. "I'm sorry. I don't think we'll be making an offer on this world. There's just too much that needs doing to make it worthwhile. Thank you for your time." He stood up and offered a limb to Mrs Zzz.
"Alright!" The thrusters at the base of the estate agent's torso glowed blue, and it rose another metre into the air. "I'm sure I could reduce the price. You can use the extra money to do the world up. What about that?"
"How much were you thinking of?" Mrs Zzz asked.
