You have to let it all go. The way she kissed you, the way she smelled, the way she touched your hands and made you feel safe. You have to let it go.
The bed is so warm, I have no idea how long I was on this bed. I have no idea which day we are, I have no idea which time it is. I know nothing. But I'm happy, I'm genuinely happy. It's always the simplest things that make us happy.
My eyes meet a picture of a star. This picture I drew it by the help of my soulmate, it's actually silly how I didn't know how to draw a star, but she made me figure out how. Sometimes I wonder what's the meaning of soulmate? But I'm sure that soulmates aren't just lovers.
I close my eyes, trying to sleep but something was stopping me. The ceiling is dark but even if everything around me is dark I'm happy. Thinking about her makes me so happy. I love her.
I hear a knock. It's a familiar knock but I just pretend that I'm asleep. I turn to the side and close my eyes. I hear footsteps. "It passed" a voice says. "you survived" the voice says again. I keep pretending that I'm asleep but something doesn't feel right. I turn and I see her. I see her face. I hear her heavy breath. Her smile is drawn on her face, I smile. My smile might not be beautiful as hers, but it's okay. I hold her hand "you're here" I say. She smiles her soft smile. "My legs brought me to you" she says with a wide smile. I smile by remembering the last time she said that. "What about your heart" I say teasing. "How funny " she says. "My heart and my legs, brought me to you..." She says. "Oh and we can't forget my soul " she added. I pull her to me until she can almost hear my heart beat. "You're so cute I can't" I whisper in her ear. She laughs and she scrunches her nose softly. She hides her face, and she turns around because of her shyness. I laugh. I open my arms as big as I can waiting forher arms to complete mine. The moment she turned I saw blood, hiding her beautiful face.
I felt like drowning. "It was a dream, it was a dream" I say to myself. "It was all in your head." I turn on the lights. Bring a cup of water, drink it and then put the cup away. I stare at the ground for a second and I see a home. Let's say I see her and I smile. I smile so wide that when I saw myself I almost cried, why am I so happy? I say laughing. I wear my socks and open my door room, The light of the sun almost made me blind.
Nobody was in the house. The house was empty. These days. The house is almost empty everyday.
Christ got married, my mom is about to be engaged and here I'm. In my room enjoying the darkness. I stare at our old family pictures. I wonder where my dad left? Too sad he wasn't in any of the photos. I complete my walk in the house Asif it's my first time. I knock at Christ's Room forgetting that he moved out. Then it hit me. "how old I'm again?" I ask myself. I open the door gently. Nothing is left only some boxes. I find myself sitting on his bed, admiring everything around it. I look at the pictures on the wall. Until I meet a picture of him and his wife. I stood. "You made me realize my biggest fear" I mutter under my breath. "and it's realizing that I might not be good enough for any girl ." I say laughing. I meet another picture a picture of me and him from when we were kids. "How cute" I say and then here's the photo which made my eyes teary a photo of him and mom. I smile. "he was always her favorite son, I wonder if she still have the shame to call me her son." I say to myself. I stare at it. Until I memorize every detail.
I turn on the TV trying to distract myself. I end up watching kids shows. They never fail to bring my inner child back to life.
