My mother always told me that. You can love someone and you can still choose to say goodbye to them.
I have always believed that relationships are like glass. They can hurt us, sometimes it's better to leave. Seeing her again changed my perspective.
I always used to believe that people are like seasons. They change quickly but I'm wrong. She's the same. She's still breathtakingly beautiful. Seeing her again reminded me of what's the meaning of being alive.
The big question is what's she doing here? In my house? Wait- is she Christ's- oh gosh oh gosh no no it can't be. I punch the wall so hard that my fist starts bleeding. What did I do to myself? Why did I behave this way?
Christ arrived. He's smiling like a happy kid. What a shame I say to myself. Suddenly his smile fades when he sees the blood running down my fist. " What the hell is happening here Noah"he asks.
"You should answer the question yourself" I replied. "There's nothing to explain Noah" Christ said. "Why are you putting yourself in shit Noah?" Christ asks again. I just stare at him. I guess I can't answer these questions myself. "What was Emily doing here"?I ask in a low voice. I can tell that he's staring at me deadly. "How the hell you know Emily Noah?"Christ yells "why do you always have to get your nose in everything I do"he yells "Don't talk with her" he says while nodding his head. My legs couldn't help it I stood up and stared at him closely. "If you hurt that girl then I'll burn you in hell that's all what I have to say"I say and turn around I go to my room and slam it hard. All I can do is sit on the ground and hold the bracelet. I feel that I'm helpless. "Emily and I don't have anything in between" Christ yells from the inside "besides my girlfriend's name is Diana"he says. Oh wow, I can't believe that I'm smiling. I can't believe that these 8 words made me feel better.
I opened the door and stared at Christ. "Thanks for answering my question" I say. He looks at me confused. "Aren't you going to answer my questions?" He asks curiously. I can't answer his questions. The words are too much for me to get it out. I prefer to stay silent. "Not now" I say nodding my head."not now" he's staring at me,I can feel his stares. "Yeah sure. Alright fine" he says and exit the front door.
The house is empty now. It's dark and empty. All I need right now is a late night drives. Late nights drives have always been my therapy. They're what make me feel better they're my home and my safe place.
As I turn the car on. I can still hear Emily's laugh. I can still hear her voice and the conversations which we made. I can still see our memories, Asif they're pictures hanging Infront of me.
I pull the car on full speed and drive. Usually speeding is what helps me forget. I keep speeding up until I hear a crash. And all I can see is glass around me. My car is upside down and I'm in it. All I can do is look around me I couldn't move. I'm unable to move any part of my body. But all I can think about is that I survived. I'm alive,and that's good.
