just a random hamltion fanfic

chapter 12 why the crying

Ashers point of view
I open my eyes expecting to be nuzzle into Washington’s chest still in my office but I wasn't. I was nuzzled into his side. I move trying to figure out what happened but the only thing I could remember was making John cry and Washington rubbing circles. I lay back down wanting the comfort of his worm body on mine. I squished tighter into his side trying to get any closeness I hear a "rrrr." I look at him and couldn't help but get a huge smile on my face. I couldn’t believe I was friends with one of my favorite people in history. I snuggle closer if possible only to mess with him and in response I get another "rrrrrmmnmm." Next thing I knew I burst into laughter. Then I feel a small bonk on my head. "Shut upppp." He grows. Just laught even harder. "We have to get up Washy I have to check on lafayette and hamltion and john." I said snuggling into hin.

Washington’s point of view

Wait did he just call me Washy? WASHY! it was odd but for some reason it sint shivers down my spine and made me want to giggle like a little girl. But of course I didn't that would sound gross. I groan again not wanting him to move from my side at all. I just wanted him to stay there for dayssss. "I don't want to get up." I wined like a child. Then reality slammed into me. I wasn't going to see him after today. After Asher started crying he fell asleep and slept for what felt like hours. I couldn't help but watch him sleep when he was asleep. I know I know its Hella creepy but hear me out it wasn't my fault that when he slept he looked so peaceful like all of his stress and worries were gone. His cute little slightly opened smile. How one of his tiny baby hands would be infront of his mouth. I couldn’t help it he just looked to cute. Then I anther wave of reality hit me. MARTHA! Shit she probably was worrying were I was. But why did I feel more of a connection to a man I just met than I did my own wife. As if Asher could read every part of my emotions he asked. "Are you okay you look like your going to be sick." Asher says now laying on my chest. I feel all my little butterflys go to my heart and beat as fast as it could. "I'm okay." I lie. But once again Asher reads my emotions. "No your not what's wrong. " He says looking up at me. God his eyes were so perfect it was like looking into the sky. "Just was thinking about... about how much longer I have to stay with you which isn't long." I said gosh I sounded so cheesy as people in this time would say. He just smiled his perfect smile. Damn sometimes I wondered how the hell this boy had perfect teeth I wish I had that but nope I don't not even close to perfect. Unlike him, he had perfect straight white teeth. I wanted to tell him so bad. Oh yeah I only know you for a day but I 99% sure I'm in love with you and I only have a quarter of a day with you then I'll never see you again.  I looked over at him only to see him sat up wiping his face with his sleeve. Was he crying again god i swar if this boy crys anymore you are going to see a fat ugly man with not straight teeth (no i don't think Washington is ether of theses things i just feel like he would think about himself like that i ant know why) crying its not pretty. "Why are you crying? Is it because of John look I told you it's not your fault it's his past. His dad is a dick head and would beat the poor lad." I said not meaning for the last part to come out. "No it because you were crying." He said wiping more tears trying to catch them but couldn't because they were coming to fast. I was crying? I feel my face and yep it was wet. When did I start crying and why was I crying? Shouldn't I want to go back I mean I have a wife that I wasn't in love with but still cared about a army who went through hell and back with me able to save the country or at least help it and I'm over here crying like a little baby when my life is fine. No it's not perfect in any way but it's not bad so why was I crying?

"Huh I am." I laughed trying to get hin to laugh didn't work. I bite my cheek what could do to make him stop crying. "You know what I just realized we never cleaned the kitchen after making a mess of it there is probably flour everywhere still." I stared at him waiting for a response nothing. "Tough crowd." I laughed. Still nothing I sigh well I didn't know what else to do. "FOOD!" I yelled out loud. He just turned his head slowly and tilted it to the side then a big grin went across his face. Then he went back to staring at the wall. "Well that wall most be very attractive I do say what is his name?" I tried to be serious but couldn't and ended up laughing. Oh come on that was pretty funny or at least I thought it was.

I look at the wall trying thinking of anything that could get his attention. "FOOD!" I tried again but this time it didn't work. Then I said something and I wanted to through myself out the window and slam myself into the tree. "Kiss me." It came out shaking and I felt my cheeks warm up and my heart beat so fast that I thought I was going to have a heart attack god why would I say that. "I cant." All he said and I felt my heart break into a million peaces he didn't want me. Mean makes sense but still hurts. I feel I tear go down my face I wipe it away but more come I try to wipe those ones but even more come at this point I couldn't stop them from coming. God why was I crying again. He looks at me with his sad black eyes that were red from crying and his poor cheeks were so red everyone of his freckles showed. "Don't cry Don't get me wrong I want to i would love to but I can't you have Martha shes... she's so much better than i ever could be. You should be going back home soon it will be like you never met me." His voice quivers. Martha god I loved the women but not in the way I should have and now she was in the way of someone I do love.