Goretober - 2022

21. Masochist || Antisepticeye

TW: It's in the title, but self harm. Don't read if it may trigger you, please.

"Oh fuck off," Jackie growled at Anti.
"Why don't you make me," Anti hissed back.
Jackie rolled his eyes, "Jesus, you're so fucking annoying. Go away, stop bothering us. No one fucking likes you anyway."
Anti froze. Those words cut deeper than he'd ever care to admit, especially not to Jackie. He turned and walked away without another word, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Behind him, he heard Jackie mutter something to Marvin, but wasn't able to make it out.
The second Anti reached the stairs, he gave up on trying to walk calmly and ran up the stairs, pushing into his room and slamming the door. He dropped to his knees just inside his room, gasping for air as he sobbed, curling up into a ball.
After a second, he pushed himself up shakily, crawling over to his bed. He reached his hand under his bed and pulled out a box. He opened it, the contents shining in the faint light. Anti gently pulled out a small pocket knife, ignoring the others, closing the box and sliding it under his bed again. He rolled up his pant leg and flicked the knife open with a small click. His breath shuddered. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, he knew what Chase would say if he found out, but he didn't care. About anything. Nothing mattered, except getting rid of the stupid thoughts in his head and the stupid, painful emotions, and the words Jackie said that echoed around his head.
He knew no one liked him, he knew he was annoying, Jackie was right.
He held the knife against his skin, pushing in ever so slightly, the sharpness of the blade drawing a dot of blood, before he pulled it across his skin, a dark red line appearing in its wake as droplets of blood formed from the cut. Anti hissed through his teeth, the pain lifting some of the thoughts from his mind, leaving him feeling buzzy and numb. He added a few more cuts to his leg in a similar fashion, adding to the collection of scars that already littered his leg.
He pressed the knife to his leg, about to add one last cut, when a knock at his door startled him. The knife slid across his leg, creating a deep cut that started to leak blood immediately.
"Fuck," Anti whimpered.
"Anti?" Someone called outside his door.
Oh shit, it was Chase.
"I know-" Chase faltered, "I know you're in there, can I come in?"
"N- no," Anti said, his voice thick with pain, "Please don't."
"Something's wrong, I'm coming in, ok?" Chase said, the door opening slowly.
He looked down at Anti, who's leg was steadily leaking blood onto the carpet, clearly in pain and scared.
"O- oh my god, what- what did you do??" Chase squeaked, dropping to his knees next to Anti.
"I- I'm sorry, I-" Anti whispered, tears streaming down his face due to the pain and because Chase was worrying about him.
Chase gently wrapped his arms around Anti, his body slightly shaking as he held back tears, "Anti, you can't..."
Anti gripped onto Chase, "I- I know, I'm sorry..."
"Promise you'll stop..."
"I- I'll stop..." Anti muttered, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Chase.
"Thank you..."

(🎶Iiiiiiii hated writing this oneeeeeee🎶)