my time, that's your time | jungkook

Chapter 2 - Soobin - game night

After an hour of picking his face, Jungkook's skin is raw. He turns away from the mirror and tries to ignore the feeling of patches of blood pooling where his blemishes are. He flees the bathroom as if that would erase the past hour. He sits down on the kitchen floor, where there are no mirrors. Hugging his legs to his chest, he feels the tears begin to fall down his cheeks.

His doorbell rings, the chime filling his apartment.

Jungkook's mind goes blank, then it spins. I totally forgot. He invited Soobin over for a late night gaming session. The younger boy has been pestering him—jokingly—that they should game together one day. Jungkook finally agreed a few days ago.

He clambers to his feet, considering calling and canceling it altogether. But he's tired of being a disappointment.

He rushes back to the bathroom, wiping his face with a cotton pad. He throws on a mask and dims all the lights in the apartment—so that he'll be barely visible.

Jungkook answers the door. His voice comes out confident—or at least close to—for the leader of TXT. "Soobin. I have to keep all the lights down because my eyes are sensitive right now."

Partly true. After all, he's been crying.

"Oh." If Soobin is suspicious, he doesn't show it. "No problem, hyung. The screens will be bright anyways."

Jungkook's nerves deflate a little. It's just a few hours of gaming. He'll get through this. And he's pretty sure he'll have some fun.

Jungkook turns on his monitor and desktop, while Soobin takes his gaming laptop out, setting it on the side of the living room desk. After blinking a few times, Jungkook pulls up his folder of various PC games. He hasn't been making much time for gaming these days. He must admit, his hobbies have all taken a backseat since his disorder has developed.

"League of Legends?" Jungkook suggests. He positions himself in a way that Soobin would be hard-pressed to study his face.

Soobin hums in agreement. "Sounds good to me."

"I haven't played in a while," Jungkook admits.

"Ah." Soobin clicks his tongue. "Don't worry. I'll carry you. Beomgyu and I have been playing almost every night."

Jungkook enters a game, and he loses himself to the rhythm of pointing, clicking, and smashing his keyboard. He loses himself in it, swearing whenever he clicks the wrong thing or ends up dying to an enemy champion. "Shit! I really lost my touch. I think we might lose this game."

"Not on my watch," Soobin says, without a hint of doubt lacing his voice.

He keeps his word. Ten minutes later, the game ends while Soobin destroys the enemy Nexus.

The blue and gold victory sign flashes across Jungkook's screen. He can't help himself. He jumps up from his chair, whooping at full volume. While he was playing, he did have the urge to touch his face, but the urge was less present. It seems that gaming with Soobin really was a bit of therapy that he needed. Video game therapy? He wonders if something like that actually exists.

"Hyung, no wonder you're considered the pro gamer of the group," Soobin says. He taps Jungkook on the arm, putting a bit of force behind it like the energy of the victory has an empowering effect.

Jungkook forgets a bit about the sweetness of a League victory. If he turns around now, Soobin will definitely see the patches on his face. He chooses to swivel over quickly in the direction of the kitchen. "Would you like anything to drink?" he asks.

"Nothing for me," Soobin says. "Do you think we have time for one more game?"

"I think—" Jungkook trips on the chord that snakes over toward the outlet. He launches forward, and his arm catches the switch on the wall. Suddenly, warm light floods from the modern arranged bulbs. Jungkook flinches, covering his face with his hands. But he knows that he's been seen. That his deepest secret has been revealed. Not to one of his members, but his hoobae, a person who's meant to look up to him.

And he's failed. He isn't the role model that people imagine him to be.

"What's wrong?" Soobin says, moving forward even though Jungkook desperately wants the space between them to widen.

"I think I'm a bit exhausted from one match," Jungkook says. Quickly, he flicks the light switch back to its lowest mode. "I'll call my driver for you. But really, I enjoyed our game a lot. We can do it again. When my... eyes are better."

"Sure," Soobin says.

Jungkook watches as Soobin packs up his gaming laptop. He's sure that Soobin saw at least one of his open wounds, but his hoobae doesn't glance over. He finds himself wandering to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of ice water. He lowers his mask and drinks, trying to remedy his suddenly-dry throat.

Jungkook carries his glass back to the doorframe.

"See you later, hyung!" Soobin calls out. His footsteps slow, until he stops near the door, like he's hesitating. "Jungkook hyung, you know that I look up to you, right? Not as a gamer, but in general. You really gave me confidence to develop my voice more."

"Oh." Jungkook feels uncomfortable with the sudden praise, but even then his chest warms at the thought that he influenced the younger artist. "You inspire me too, Soobin. You're three years younger than me and already leading your members to success."

Soobin flushes a bit. "Until the next game, Jungkook hyung."

Jungkook manages a little smile. Even though he's all masked up, he hopes Soobin knows that he genuinely enjoyed this night. It was the break he needed.

Ten minutes after Soobin leaves, however, Jungkook is back on the kitchen floor. He feels the haunting of his fingers on the keyboard, the sounds of the game hypnotizing him to think of anything but the current demons embracing him.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Will be waiting patiently for 2025 💜.