my time, that's your time | jungkook

Chapter 11 - Jimin - perfume

The perfume workshop is small and cozy. String lights hang from the ceiling, and transparent furniture stands on fluffy, cream-colored carpet. The air is fragrant with sweet and earthy tones, and in the middle of the afternoon there's no lack of sunlight streaming in and illuminating the hundreds of vials before Jungkook.

He wonders if one of these vials holds the cure—the end to the constant battle with his skin.

Jimin is with him, sampling dozens of scents by bringing a swatch close to his nose before clearing his palate with a whiff of coffee beans. Jungkook is doing the same, or at least trying to while the words weigh heavy on his spirit.

I have excoriation disorder. That's the only sentence he has to voice, but saying it feels more difficult than swallowing a pill the size of his fist.

Jimin pauses, marveling at the swatch before him. "Woah. This scent is amazing." He holds it up to Jungkook's face. "Jungkook-ah, you have to smell it."

"Bergamot?" Jungkook says, breathing in the familiar citrus that he loves in shampoos.

Jimin ahhs at the scent several more times. He sets it down in his curated list of scents. Jungkook's pile is about five times smaller, but he thinks he knows the scent he'd like to make today. Lavender and cotton—maybe infused with the bergamot that Jimin just showed him.

As much as he wanted to forgo it, Jungkook wore makeup today—a lighter layer than usual, so he knows that his scars are visible if someone really looked closely. He knows that Jimin probably noticed. But why won't he say anything?

Jimin laughs as he almost drops a vial of precious perfume, clutching it close as he sets it in the middle of their table. He appears impressed by a few more scents, and Jungkook can't help but notice how much his hyung is enjoying their time off. On what other day can they come to a perfume workshop and just hang out?

On what other day can he confess his biggest secret?

Jungkook clears his throat. At the same time, the perfume workshop owner draws near with their next set of instructions. They must decide what scents will be the top, middle, and base notes.

Jimin chatters about his upcoming solo album, which will apparently feature a minute-long dance solo in the single. Jungkook tries to answer animatedly like he's accustomed to. Instead, his jokes fall flat.

"What's wrong, Jungkook?" Jimin says.

There is a moment of hesitation. He can deny it all. He can return to his new normal, where his skin is a secret. So secret that he thinks it'll be hidden forever. He can go home, fight the urge by himself again, and repeat the cycle. Wake up, skincare, apply makeup, drudge through the day only to go home and try not to give in to what his fingers are itching to do.

Jungkook can't stop a single tear from flowing down, crossing his nose. Then, a rush of tears follows. He can't speak. Jimin draws near and wraps him in a tight hug. "It's okay, Jungkook-ah."

He's done hiding. He'll let his secret loose for his reliable hyung. Once the words are out, that's when the journey will begin. He doesn't have to try to heal alone. It's time.

"I—" The words lodge in his throat, and his congestion doesn't make it any easier to speak. He gulps down a large breath before speaking so forcefully that his jaw hurts. "I have excoriation disorder, hyung."

Jimin holds him closer, caressing a hand across his back. "It's okay, Jungkook. I still love you. Know that the members still do too, okay?"

"Okay." Jungkook has a thousand smells in his nose, but all he can capture at this moment is the fresh passion fruit in Jimin's shampoo. Jimin waits for him to calm down, then slowly draws back and wears a smile—a bit hesitant, but as warm as a summer afternoon.

Jungkook expects Jimin to ask questions. Instead, they return to their perfume making. After deciding the top, middle, and base notes, the workshop owner—professional as ever—gives them a new set of instructions while leaving Jungkook's breakdown out of the equation.

As Jungkook begins to formulate his mixture, he's finally ready to speak. "I know I should've told you and the others sooner. But I felt so much shame. I just... couldn't."

"But you did," Jimin says, setting down his dropper next to his little glass beaker. "You trusted me, and now you have someone to share the burden with. When you're ready to tell the other members, I could be there with you. Or not."

Jimin's sweetness overwhelms the fragrance of the perfume workshop. They continue on, each making their custom perfumes with the carefulness of new parents. When Jungkook finishes, the owner gives him instructions on allowing the perfume to macerate.

Jimin finishes not long after. He reaches out and grasps Jungkook's hand, sitting next to him. When Jungkook calms down a little, Jimin speaks in a little more than a whisper. "I mean it, Jungkook. You will always have me. Thank you for trusting me to tell me—it must've been so difficult. You suffered a lot alone."

Jungkook reflects on his past meetings with his members and with TXT. He could've released this secret much sooner. But he thinks the timing is right. This moment, jumping from uncertainty into the warm feathers of acceptance. He realizes that he didn't have to be afraid.

He feels the water submerging him while he learned wakeboarding, the sting of the tattoo and the heat of the campfire. He feels every instance when he meant to let the words spill out but couldn't find the courage just yet.

He has it now. He gulps before speaking. "I think it's possible that I'll get better."

Jimin grins, all radiance as he tilts his head. His hair brushes his shoulder, falling against his warm beige cardigan.

And Jungkook isn't jealous of his hyung's skin. He's just grateful. This time, he reaches out first. Jimin's hand fits in his. He has a lot more to say, but the heaviest words are gone. He thinks, just maybe—it'll get a bit easier.

A/N: MOARMY! Thank you so much for sticking with this story to the end. May you find healing in your own ways and have the friends to do so, just like Jungkook had with his brothers. I'm sad that this is the end, but perhaps Jungkook's healing journey can continue? Let me know. Much love! ♡